(I've Got to Admit) It's Getting Better
by thefooliam
Summary: New Years Eve Trilogy. Brittany and Santana spend three days together after Brittany comes home from Santa Fe. Spoilers for 3x10.
1. This Love Of Mine

**Part one of (I've Got To Admit) It's Getting Better: New Year Trilogy**

**Spoilers for 3x09 "Extraordinary Merry Christmas"**

**Summary: **_She fell asleep to Brittany singing the Beatles "And I Love Her", the words"A love like ours could never die"humming around in her head, soothing her._

**Notes: Title from the Beatles "And I Love Her"**

**This Love of Mine**

Brittany comes home from Santa Fe on New Year's Eve.

Because of a delay due to a freak snow storm that caused all planes to be landed across the Midwest until skies were clear, it meant that she'd been gone for a grand total of nine excruciating days. Plus, another six hour delay at the airport, because of some smelly old lady (Brittany's words, not hers), meant there was going to be hardly any time for them to spend some time alone together before the party.

Apparently, because of his new Congressman status, Mr Hummel had some thing to go to for New Year's in Washington and because Kurt and Finn weren't allowed to go, they were allowed a New Year's Eve party instead. Kurt had emailed out fancy invites and, just as Santana was reading hers, she got a text from Brittany saying that she couldn't wait to go. Kurt was totally a better party planner than Rachel. She was so cute, being all excited, that Santana couldn't find it in her to refuse.

Plus, she also said they'd go together and Santana couldn't stop herself from thinking about the last Glee club party and remembering how _that_ went. If there was a hope of one of them being in the other's lap drunkenly smooching, she was definitely down. Hell, she's so hopeless these days that the prospect of sitting holding Brittany's hand all night gets her all excited and hot around the collar.

Anyway, point is, thanks to stupid airline delays and Kurt Hummel, the first night Brittany's home after nine days (that felt like years), they don't get to be alone like Santana had planned. She had to forgo the candles, the brand new purposely-bought-because-they-looked-romantic bed sheets, the bottle of champagne her parents had treated her to for Christmas (They'd handed it to her before dinner, told her she and Brittany deserved it, then made her go wash up; all in all it was a generally strange experience) and the new underwear she'd bought herself (Well, Brittany) for Christmas, and settle for getting ready for the party together instead.

Well, maybe she hadn't forgone the underwear. As she drove herself over to Brittany's, after the text she'd been waiting days for, she discovered that sexy definitely doesn't also mean comfortable.

Still, maybe Brittany would get a chance to enjoy them.

As she pulls into Brittany's street, nervousness settles into her gut. Usually she'd think it weird, but it's been happening a lot more, recently. She'd thought that things wouldn't change – they were practically dating before they were dating – but they have. It's like when they're apart, it feels like forever, like every second apart is unbearable. It makes it so that when they see each other again, it gives her butterflies, the best kind of flutterings in her stomach, that don't stop until Brittany's held some part of her. Sometimes they don't, though. Sometimes, they only get worse.

It's like that now. She clambers out of her car, smooths out her dress and walks to the door. She rings the bell and waits, listens to the happenings inside. She hears the thundering of rushing feet down the stairs, the hushed warning to a sibling that might ruin the moment, the shooing of a parent that might embarrass her and a pause. It almost kills her.

When Brittany opens the door, Santana's breath hitches and she waits as her world rights itself again, gets back on it's axis now that Brittany's close enough to hold.

"Hey," Brittany giggles, looking just as excited and relieved as she does.

Santana steps closer and breathes out. "Hi," she mumbles softly. She's missed how the air buzzes around Brittany, how her world seems suddenly warm after being cold for so many days. Brittany reaches out to steady her as she trips up climbing the step. She wants to say something cheesy about how she always falls for Brittany, but she's more aware that arms are hooked under her shoulders, wrapped around her back and she's flush against Brittany's chest. Her eyes flutter closed at the sudden reminder of the feeling. "Hi," she says again.

Brittany doesn't give her a moment, just looks behind her to see if anyone's coming and chances her luck, pressing their mouths together innocently. She nudges Santana's nose with her own, then presses it against her cheek as they stand in the open doorway, holding each other.

"Hello," Brittany says giggling. She starts to sway giddily and Santana sighs, relishing.

She turns her face to kiss Brittany's cheek. "I missed you," she admits in a whisper. She feels Brittany squeeze her tighter.

"Well guess what?" Brittany says, peppering kisses along her jaw. Santana hums in response. "I missed you more," she says, a pretend whisper, before she kisses Santana's nose, leaving her lips there for a moment. Santana didn't know it was cold until she feels Brittany start to make it warm.

"Highly unlikely," Santana says bringing her hands up Brittany's back to hook over her shoulders and bring her closer. Their faces touch at every protruding feature, foreheads, noses, chins. They stay like that, smiling like goons at each other, until Brittany's dad yells that they're letting in the cold.

/

Santana leans back on her hands, watching Brittany move around the room from the foot of her bed. She smiles every time Brittany looks at her to check she's still there before watching her as she silently goes about her room doing mundane things like unpacking.

She doesn't understand how a person looks so beautiful doing something that's not. It's some kind of paradox, but she doesn't care. She just wants to keep looking. She wasted so much time avoiding looking, so much time pretending, that she wants to soak in it all, even the boring moments.

She thinks of all the texts they've sent each other this week, emails, Facebook messages and Twitter replies. Then there's the phone calls and the Skype chats they had a couple of times, but struggled with thanks to Brittany's sister wanting to know what they were doing. If there's a way of communicating, they found it.

Santana feels like she's learned to appreciate Brittany's presence in even more ways this week. She doesn't understand how Brittany comes up with some of the things she does. Like, how she came up with so many ways to say goodnight to Santana.

On the first night it was a phone call because Santana had said that she'd fly down there herself to make sure Brittany was safe is she didn't call. Brittany had been muffled by her quilt as she whispered how she'd almost not called so Santana would follow her. It had been one in the morning and Santana was still awake and seconds away from booking a flight.

The second night, Christmas Eve, Brittany emailed her the entirety of _the Night Before Christmas _before ending it with an _I love you _that Santana didn't even know she needed.

On Christmas day, she text her telling her to look under her bed where she found a rather large, perfectly wrapped present which made her call Brittany to chastise her for not warning her that she needed to leave a present. Brittany just sighed at her hopelessly and told her to open it. When she did, she found one of Brittany's blankets inside and brought it to her nose. She soaked in the smell of her, as Brittany told her that she could pretend it was her wrapped around her when she was cold.

The day after Christmas, they spoke to each other for an hour before bed, but after they'd hung up Brittany sent her a picture. She opened it to find a picture of Brittany wrapped up in her covers, warm comfy flannel pajamas wrapped around her, her blue eyes tired and heavy, an adorable pout on her lips. Underneath was the caption _I wish you were here_ that left Santana talking herself out of just flying down there. To hell with it.

On the twenty-seventh, Brittany called her, three hours after they'd texted each other goodnight and said nothing before softly starting to sing to her. Santana's heart fluttered with the idea that Brittany could just tell she couldn't sleep and brought the covers over her head. She fell asleep to Brittany singing the Beatles "And I Love Her", the words _A love like ours could never die_ humming around in her head, soothing her.

On the morning of the twenty-eighth, Santana got a bulky letter and opened it to find a second envelope that said "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL I SAY SO" written over it. She laughed and kept it in her pocket all day, thumbing at the corner. She waited for Brittany to say something to her all day and when it got to bed time, she texted her impatiently and asked for permission. When Brittany gave it to her, she carefully opened the envelope. She doesn't know what she expected but what she found was pages and pages of writing. She searched for the first and saw the title: _Reasons I love Santana Lopez _and clutched the pages closer. She got to reason number 184 out of 576 before she fell asleep surrounded by Brittany's love for her.

(She read the rest in the morning, finding the pages clutched protectively to her chest when she woke up. When she got to reason number 576 – _Because she likes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches too – _Santana found a note scribbled underneath it beneath a perfectly drawn heart.

It said, _I can't find anymore paper. _

Santana laughed, even as her heart grew four more sizes, reaching for her phone.)

If she thinks about it, she decides she loves all the ways Brittany thought of to say goodnight equally, but she has a soft spot for the twenty-ninth, the day she was meant to come home. Brittany broke the news that they were stuck at lunch time, when Santana had text her to tell her to have a safe flight. She sulked and grumbled down the phone at Brittany that she hated airlines all day, up up to the time they said goodnight. Santana laid awake until her phone buzzed. It was another picture and she opened it and instantly clutched it to her chest. She thought Brittany was sharing a room with her cousin. She text her to ask her as much, trying not to mention that Brittany just sent her a naked picture of herself. She didn't get a text back, but Brittany called her and giggled throatily – _naughtily – _as soon as she picked up. Santana had her hand resting on her hip before she could think about it.

"They left this morning to drive home to Arizona," she explains. "I'm in the pool house alone with the door locked and the curtains closed." There was a pause. "What are you wearing?"

She didn't fall asleep, so much as blacked out after Brittany begged her to touch herself for the fourth time and coached her through it.

The thirtieth makes her the happiest. It's the one Santana thinks most about as she sits at the end of Brittany's bed. She reaches into her pocket and brings out the text to read it again.

_Just think, _it says. _Tomorrow, I get to fall asleep with you beside me. I can't wait to start a new year with you._

As she wanders past, toothbrush in hand, Santana grabs Brittany and brings her close. She pulls her against her and buries her face into Brittany's stomach. Hands are in her hair instantly, stroking it from her face.

"What's wrong?" she asks gently, thumb tracing her cheeks.

Santana smiles and presses a kiss to her tummy, wrapping her arms around her waist so she can't move away.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong," she says before laughing softly. "I just can't wait to start a new year with you."

/

When they were still just friends, they used to do this every Friday night before a party. They used to say dressing up was a fun way of showing boys how hot they were, but now it's just... problematic.

"How about these?" Brittany says as she pulls on a pair of jeans. Santana just steps up behind her and presses herself against her back. Brittany raises her eyebrow. "Stop it," she warns.

Santana smiles sweetly. "I didn't do anything."

Brittany rolls her eyes and turns to the mirror. Santana turns too, hand dropping to touch Brittany bare waist. "Santana," she says warningly but Santana just pulls herself closer and buries her nose against her shoulder blade. "Tell me what you think."

Santana smirks against her. "I think you should put on a shirt if you don't want me to stroke every inch of you."

She feels Brittany shiver. When she says her name a second time, it's less of a warning and more of a plea. Santana kisses her up her shoulder slowly and pretends she doesn't hear.

"We've got to be at the party in like..." Brittany speaks carefully, like she's trying to be bossy. Santana catches her eyes close dreamily as the kisses venture to the juncture of her shoulder and neck; the dazed look in her eyes makes Santana smile. She scrapes her teeth there before she presses a wet kisses to the same spot, just so she can hear that grateful little noise Brittany makes every time. "We've got to be at the party in..." she tries again, before breaking off with a sigh, clutching Santana's wrist as an arm wraps around her waist. The other reaches up so gentle fingers can brush the hair away from the back of Brittany's neck to make room for more kisses. "... an hour?"

Santana looks at the clock on Brittany's night-stand. "And twenty minutes." She brings Brittany closer venturing to the other shoulder, up the other side of her neck until she can tilt Brittany's chin to meet her mouth. The kiss is languid and soft and she doesn't stop until Brittany's pliant in her hands, clutching at her like she's a life raft. "And even then, I'm pretty sure we just have to be there for midnight."

Brittany's eyes are heavy as Santana pushes her towards the bed and lowers her against it, shoving the piles of clothes to the floor. "That makes sense," Brittany says as she's leaning up to close the gap between them. Santana moans in assent.

/

Santana leans over Brittany, after, smiles at her lazily and laughs, just because.

They're due at the party in forty-five minutes but now they both need to shower.

"I still don't know what I'm wearing," Brittany groans, but she pushes herself up to kiss Santana again anyway.

Santana sucks on her bottom lip a little before, pulling away. "You should wear the dark blue dress."

"Why?"

Santana kisses her nose. "Because it's almost as beautiful as you are," she says, glad that no one can hear her. "But like... wear tights. It's meant to snow or something later and Kurt said there would be fireworks."

Brittany brightens and claps but then she sinks a little, remembering. She looks a little weary of Santana's answer before she asks, "Are we staying the night?"

"I have my sleeping bag, a pillow and the blanket you gave me in my car," Santana says, stroking her nose over Brittany's cheek.

Brittany pulls her closer, and fusses a little in excitement at Santana's answer. "But you won't need that," she says coyly, pulling Santana's face to hers. "I'll keep you warm."

They kiss again, gentle pecks that grow steadily into more until Santana's hand starts to wander. Brittany wraps her fingers around a wrist and tugs it out from beneath the covers, smirking reproachfully.

"I'm going to get ready," she says climbing off the bed, giggling when Santana pouts and smacks her on the ass as she walks over to her bathroom. She pauses in the doorway and looks back to catch Santana's grateful eyes following her. Santana's cheeks pink guiltily before Brittany smirks and sways her hips as she disappears.

She joins her a few minutes later.

/

"You're an hour late!"

Santana holds her hands up to Kurt. "Fashion emergency!"

"Yeah," Brittany says with a straight face. "I couldn't find anything to wear and Santana had new bra related problems."

Santana bites her lip and snorts inwardly as she thinks of Brittany's face when she saw her new underwear. The hungry look in her eye is something that was totally worth the shocking amount she actually paid for it. But right now, all she can think as she takes a side glance at Brittany's perfectly straight face is, _Yeah, I looked so good you wouldn't let me keep it on._

Kurt presses two fingers to his temple. "Here," he says handing them two glasses of champagne. "Just... everyone's in the living room."

/

She sees why he's so mad when she walks inside: they're pretty much the first people there... after Rachel, that is.

It's a swanky affair; Kurt seems to have moved all the furniture out of the room and draped the walls with decorations that soak it in lavish festivity. There's a few chairs dotted around the room and Santana wonders how much of a budget Kurt had managed to guilt out of his dad for this soiree to make it look like this. She sips on her champagne, and rests a hand on Brittany's back as they guide themselves deeper into the room.

"I'm really glad I didn't wear jeans," Brittany whispers, just as Rachel bounds over to them.

"Hello, ladies," she grins. "You look lovely this evening."

Santana smiles and glances over at Brittany but can't help but glance over Berry herself. Her first reaction is that Kurt must have dressed her because she actually doesn't look too bad. She's wearing an emerald green dress that doesn't make her look like a bag lady or a toddler, but the major thing Santana notices is that she's wearing her usual Finn necklace around her neck but her ears are surprisingly bare.

Well, bare in the sense that they're not wearing the earrings that she helped Finn pick out the other week. She almost says something, but then she glances at Brittany again and terror strikes her. Her mouth closes tightly because she knows she can't ask where they are, not without Rachel asking how she knew about them and not without someone asking her how she ran into Finn at the jewelery store. It reminds her of the simultaneous nagging of terror and excitement she gets in the back of her brain when she remembers that her and Britt still haven't exchanged Christmas gifts yet.

For someone who _really _likes presents, Brittany has a _lot_ of rules about getting them early on Christmas. It just isn't allowed, which has been really hard for Santana while she tried to keep the red velvet box, slipped into a shiny purple gift bag and covered in bows, a secret. It makes her stomach sink when she thinks about where it is now. She has a sudden urge to run and check her car is locked but only stays when Brittany looks at her funnily and presses a hand to her back, brow furrowed. She shakes it off then and forces a smile that Brittany instantly returns.

They look away from each other to find Rachel staring at them curiously, a half smile playing at her lips.

Brittany scratches Santana's spine through her dress to soothe her as she says, "You look really pretty too, Rachel" with a kind smile.

"Yeah, Berry," Santana says. "You actually look your age."

Rachel's face falls a little but then she shrugs like the comment is better than she could have hoped for and nods a little. "Thank you, Santana," she smiles gratefully. "I bought it specially for the season, except, my dads and I don't really go to many parties at this time of year, so this is the first time I've got to wear it."

Brittany pouts a little. "That's sad," she says softly. Santana just swoons at her quietly.

Rachel nods gently but then she quickly brightens. "Anyway," she says. "How has your Christmas been ladies? First one together, so it must have been special."

Brittany looks at Santana carefully and gently pouts out her bottom lip. "I actually spent Christmas with my family in Santa Fe," she explains softly, never looking away from Santana. "I just got back this afternoon, actually," she says.

Rachel gasps. "So, you've not seen each other since before Christmas?" They both shake their head still looking at each other. "It must have been horrible being apart when everything's still so new and magical. I don't celebrate Christmas, but I know that this holiday season has been very special for Finn and I as our first."

Santana looks at Brittany and smiles. She remembers the phone calls and the texts, the letters and the songs, and suddenly feels a warmth in her chest at the memory still so fresh in her mind. She knows it'll stay like that, fond and treasured deep inside of her, and she shakes her head, turning to Rachel.

"No," she says with a half-smile. "It was... it was still the best Christmas ever."

Rachel smiles at her and Santana doesn't care; it's the truth.

/

The others slowly pour in. Puck rolls in with Quinn, shortly after Rory and Sam, and pulls out a bottle of tequila with one hand and Jack with the other. Kurt quickly grabs them from him at the door and replaces them with a glass of champagne.

"Later," he says lowly. "I want this party to remain classy... at least until midnight."

/

Santana's surprised to see that Kurt's somehow managed to convince some of the band guys to come along. They join the guys, dressed to the nines in their best suits (Santana's pretty sure they're all wearing a different suit from some performance or another) and it feels a little weird for them to not all be holding instruments.

There's also some of the Cheerios that were on the Troubletones there, too and Kurt welcomes them all warmly, close with some of them from his cheerleading stint Sophomore year. Santana watches them as they all wander into Kurt's living room and start to chatter with each other. Some of them smile at Santana and she can tell a few of them are regretting coming when the only guys on offer are the band geeks or the Glee guys.

That's until the Warblers show up (at least, she assumes they're the Warblers because they're not wearing their uniforms) and they all suddenly brighten.

Sure, it takes until almost ten for the party to warm up, but when Santana's sat in the corner laughing and joking with her friends, Brittany warm against her side as they giggle from the champagne, Santana finds it hard to find fault.

/

"I've never had champagne before," Brittany hiccups a little as Kurt hands her another.

Santana, still nursing a full glass from the last round, wonders where all this fancy champagne is coming from. He doesn't seem to be running out at all.

She's kinda sad. She was sort of hoping they'd be knocking back the tequila by now. It doesn't feel like a proper celebration without it.

Whatever, there's only forty minutes until midnight and Kurt's finally turned off the old crooning Christmas songs in favor of top forty tunes and danceable beats. She can't wait until the clock strikes 12 because that means he'll stop with this whole classy schtick and let them get wasted.

"So," Rachel says from her place on Finn's lap. "Has every body got their Midnight kisses planned?"

Her friends bubble around her through the music. Tina and Mike kiss just for the hell of it, like the hearing the word kiss is an instant prompt for them to do it. Mercedes looks to her lap and Santana looks up to find Sam staring at her. It makes her wonder where Wheezy's boyfriend is for a second until she feels that weird unfamiliar tingle of happiness for someone else. They're kinda cute together.

"What do you say, Fabray," Puck says, throwing an arm around her shoulders. "How 'bout one for old times sake?"

Quinn rolls her eyes. "Just don't get me drunk this time."

The group lapses into noise, those without a kiss promising each other that they'll help a friend out if it comes to it; there's still over half an hour yet. Plenty of time to bag a guy or gal.

Santana's too busy to listen. Instead, she disappears into her head, hand wrapped around Brittany's as a constant reminder that she doesn't have to worry about that, doesn't have to make up stupid reasons why she hates that whole New Years Kiss thing. It also fills her with a sudden pang of worry and nervousness because she didn't realize there would be this many people here. She figured she'd be fine with her friends if it came to it. They'd all be too rapt in each other to care if she gave Brittany a kiss at midnight. But now there's like... forty people in the room who she doesn't know all that well and, she doesn't want to admit it, but there's nerves in her gut that threaten to ruin what was going to be the perfect moment.

She looks to her side and doesn't find Brittany laughing with the others as they tease Rory about his "lack of snog" problem. She's smiling, but she's also glancing at Santana, noticing the nerves. It makes her feel guilty because the worry must be written all over her face. Brittany looks around before she pulls their hands apart so she can wrap her arm around Santana's back. She pulls her in tight against her protectively and Santana softens through the guilt. She smiles because she doesn't deserve this girl, at all.

Brittany turns her head and leans into her ear. Santana shivers instantly at the proximity.

"It doesn't matter," she whispers, nose barely brushing her skin but still somehow managing to make Santana grip at the hem of her dress.

Santana sighs and she wants to tell Brittany that it does matter, that it's their first New Year, their first damn holiday that they've got to celebrate while in the same state as each other. She wants to tell her that the kiss was going to be the great start to this great brand new year that they're starting together, this fresh start and new beginning where everything would be awesome from the second it started. She wants to tell her that she wants to kiss her now, that she's wanted to kiss her every second of every day since before she can remember, and that she'll probably never stop, but it would be really nice to kiss her because she's meant to. She's about to when a loud laugh echoes across the room as she's leaning closer. She jumps and flinches away with the shock and the words disappear quickly. She looks away ashamed as Brittany tightens a knowing arm around her.

"It's okay," she says softly, reaching with her spare hand to grab Santana's. "It's okay," she repeats, but it isn't.

/

"It's almost time," Finn says, checking his watch. "Kurt," he calls over the music. "It's almost time." He helps Rachel off his lap and she sways a little before he puts his arm around her. "I've got to go get the fireworks ready," he explains.

Santana feels an irrational (or maybe it's perfectly rational) surge of fear at the idea of someone allowing Finn to handle explosives.

It's not a minute later when Kurt is lowering the volume on the music and calling for attention.

"Everybody!" he says, waving and climbing on a chair. "It's almost midnight, so why don't you all come grab your coats and go outside ready for the fireworks!"

Santana lets Brittany lead her out behind the others, her metaphorical tail between her legs. They're some of the last out and Brittany maneuvers them to a space at the back of the crowd and faces back to the glass doors into the kitchen, where Kurt's set up the family TV set on the counter ready to watch the ball drop in Times Square.

Brittany stands close and watches silently as Ryan Seacrest starts talking to whatever people they have to sing on there this year. Santana turns as Puck starts to nudge Quinn playfully at the sight of him and smirks when she remembers Quinn's stupid tattoo. She turns back to Brittany and the TV and watches as Dick Clark talks and people across New York City start to scream. She knows that one day, they'll be there, stood in Times Square as they wait for the ball to drop in the freezing cold. She knows she'll kiss Brittany then. No one in New York cares if she's kissing a girl. She can _marry _a girl in New York if she wants to. Her heart swells at the memory, the possibility.

The minutes shrink quickly until fireworks start coming from times square as the clock counts down. The people around her start to grab onto each other ready to kiss as they watch it on the screen. It gets to twenty quickly and they start chanting. Brittany does too, a sad smile mixed with anticipation on her face. Santana doesn't watch the count down, she just watches Brittany, but when Finn accidentally starts setting off the fireworks, she looks at the countdown to see that there's still ten seconds to go and rolls her eyes.

But then she looks back at Brittany and her eyes are so wide with wonder that she can't contain her own soft smile, can't contain the love that threatens to burst from within her at Brittany's dropped open jaw, her unbridled excitement. Around them, people count the last remaining second of this year away and it rushes back through Santana's eyes, fast as lightening.

She thinks of how it began, how it progressed. She thinks of boys and broken hearts and promises. She thinks of how many things, how many emotions she's felt in the past year, how much fear and disappointment. She'd gladly call it the worst year of her life if she couldn't look beside her and see what she got because of it. Fireworks reflect back in Brittany's eyes and, for a moment, she remembers the past Fourth of July weekend and how the fireworks had reflected in Brittany's blue eyes then too. Things were so fragile between them and all Santana wanted to do as they sat in the crowd that consisted of most of the population of this stupid town they live, was kiss her.

But she couldn't then and, as she looks at Brittany now, beautiful in her dress that's as dark blue as the night sky, she realizes she can now. If there's a person here who doesn't know that Brittany's hers, they should because she is. Brittany's hers. She's finally hers and, for the first time in the weeks it's been since they've been dating, she realizes that truth and there's no way she's going to waste this moment.

"ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" the people around them scream but Santana doesn't, she's too busy turning to face Brittany and cupping her cheeks in her hands. It takes a second but Brittany looks away from the colors in the sky to look at her and she opens her mouth to speak but Santana cuts her off.

"I love you," she whispers, then she's tugging her down into a kiss and doesn't give a damn about the people around them or what they think.

She kisses her and finds out how warm Brittany's mouth is compared to how cold her hands are. She takes them in her own and wraps them around her own waist, inside of her coat, until they tangle together at the base of her back. Her own hands return instantly to Brittany's cheeks and she strokes the sudden warmth there with a smile quirking into their kiss but doesn't stop for anything.

It's not until many minutes later, when the fireworks end, that they pull apart. Santana opens her eyes and concentrates on Brittany, watches the way her eyes flicker open and her lips remain parted. She runs her own thumb across the bottom one, wiping away any damp that might cause them to chap and smiles at her gently.

"You didn't..." Brittany starts softly.

Santana nods, leaning up to kiss her again. "I know," she says carefully. "But I wanted to."

/

Most of the guest leave soon after midnight citing curfews or a ride that won't stay up any later. By one am, it's just the Glee club sat around on the floor in the Hummel-Hudson living room, laughing at each other and sipping on champagne as they tease Artie about him letting Sugar midnight-kiss him.

Santana doesn't really care about the tequila, or getting wasted, anymore, not when Brittany's got her head in her lap and her legs sprawled into the middle of the circle they're sitting in. Her hand strokes through Brittany's hair gently, and she watches her as she giggles goofily, still tipsy from the champagne, at Artie's excuses.

"God," Rachel says suddenly. "God, I can't take it anymore." Everyone looks at her only to find her staring over the circle at Santana and Brittany. "You two are so cute, _so cute_, like... adorable. I just can't."

Brittany giggles but Santana blushes and looks down at her in her lap, shyly. Brittany takes the opportunity to look at her and smirk for a moment. Santana finds herself smiling widely before she can help it.

"I think that's enough champagne for you, Berry," she mumbles after a moment, and she doesn't look back up until the blush has half-disappeared from her cheeks and everyone's stopped looking at her.

/

Mercedes leaves with Rory, Sam and Artie ready to go to church in the morning with her family, while the boys leave to continue a dorkfest of video games at Artie's when his mom comes to pick him up.

It leaves the rest of them still sat quietly in the living room and when both Mike and Tina, and Rachel, all start falling asleep it's decided that everyone should probably hit the hay.

It's barely past 2am and Santana would say something about them being light-weights but she's too calm to try. She stays sitting as Kurt and Blaine start fussing around the others. Finn picks Rachel up off the floor and carries her off to his room with quiet a "good night" whispered to the others. Blaine helps Mike bring his and Tina's overnight bag from the car and leads them to an air mattress set up in the study. Quinn and Puck follow Kurt up to his parents room and Santana chuckles quietly when he makes them promise not to make any more babies in it, amused at the sound of disgust Quinn makes in response.

A few moments later, he comes downstairs and looks at them, still sat together on the floor, Brittany's head in her lap as they look at each other. The quiet had been nice for them to just look at each other, Santana quietly stroking Brittany's forehead. She sees Kurt second-guess his approach from the corner of her eye.

"Um," he says. "We've got no more beds, but I can get you some quilts and lay them out in here, if you want. It might be a little cold but... we've got enough covers to keep you warm."

It's Brittany that looks at him, soft and gentle as she whispers "Thanks, Kurt."

/

Santana comes back from the car with their bags, shivering at the sudden drop in temperature with white flecks covering her hair and her coat.

"It's snowing," she shivers when Brittany looks up from laying out quilts on the floor. Her eyes brighten a little as Kurt walks in carrying another armful of blankets and pillows.

"If you need anymore," he says softly. "There's a closet next to the bathroom upstairs and there's some more in there. I put the heating on but it takes a while when it's so cold."

"Thanks," she says with a nod, watching as Brittany turns to hug him.

"Your party was awesome," she tells him in a whisper. "Way better than Rachel's."

He grins like that's the best thing she could have ever said, before disappearing upstairs.

Santana looks across at Brittany and shrugs before laughing. "I'm not tired," she says stepping closer, glad when Brittany mirrors her movements.

"Me neither," Brittany says with a smile, her arms wrapping around Santana's waist. "We probably shouldn't have sex, right?"

Santana buries her head into Brittany's shoulder to stop herself from laughing to loud because, as much as she'd love that, she really doesn't want to risk being walked in on by someone getting a glass of water.

"No," she says with a shake of her head. "But we can cuddle?"

Brittany looks at her like that's the best thing she could have said.

/

She's pretty sure Arctic explorers need less insulation than they do, but somehow they're laying on about four quilts and two sleeping bags, while double that cover their bodies.

Somehow, they're still shivering.

"Maybe it's going to be like _The Day After Tomorrow_," Brittany whispers into the half light. Kurt had found them a lamp from somewhere that left them glowing in low warm light, Brittany's hair shining like gold. "Maybe we'll fall asleep and then we'll wake up and we'll be snowed in and Artie will have to put skis on his wheels to come find us. We'll have to burn Kurt's old copies of _Vogue _to keep warm."

Santana giggles and shuffles closer. "That sounds cozy, Britt Britt," she mumbles. "But I think Kurt would rather die before burning his old copies of _Vogue._"

Brittany giggles and presses their noses together before leaning in to kiss her lazily. Santana feels the fabric of their t-shirts and the flannel of their pajama pants rubbing together, creating heat between them.

The only thing that isn't slowly heating up is Brittany ice-block feet. She pulls away from her and giggles. "Your feet are cold."

Brittany smiles. "I know," she says. "But I was concentrating so hard on remembering to wear tights under my dress that I forgot to pack socks in my overnight bag."

Santana snuggles her closer and molds herself to Brittany's body. Brittany snuggles back, her hands stroking up and down Santana's spine over her t-shirt. Lost to the touch, Santana hums a little as she sinks into the warmth and softness of her body. She thinks about the panties she's still wearing under these clothes, of how easily it would be to slip them off and warm up properly. She knows they can't.

"Wait," she says, suddenly. "I've got a spare pair of socks in my bag."

"Yeah?" Brittany mumbles.

"Yeah," Santana says with no signs of moving away to get them for her. "They're behind me in my bag if you can reach them."

She can because she reaches blindly behind her into Santana's Cheerios duffle. Santana stays snuggled into her, comfortable where she is pressed into Brittany's shoulder, until she hears the ruffle of something she didn't want to hear the ruffle of.

She's darting away from her, mouth opening to tell her that, actually, she'll get them for her, quicker than she thought possible. Her mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, panic seeping through her body as she tries to regain control of it. It's too late, however. Brittany's eyes narrow at her as she finds something better than a pair of comfy old socks.

"Santana..." she tests, as her hand moves back to her body. It brings with it the shiny purple gift bag covered in more bows than a bag that small should be covered in. Her face brightens a little when it comes closer and she notices that it is in fact exactly what she thinks it is. Still, she smiles a little and asks. "What's this?"

Santana shakes her head quickly, eyes looking away, embarrassed for what she knows is about to happen. "It's nothing," she says quietly. "It's... it's... nothing."

Brittany ignores her. "Is it my Christmas present?" Santana shakes her head. "But it says '_Merry Christmas, Britt Britt' _on the tag."

Santana does look at her then, pleadingly, but Brittany just smiles and pouts at her. She moves closer and pecks a kiss at her nose, then her lips. Santana smiles despite the humiliation she's about three minutes away from feeling.

"Can I open it?" Brittany asks quietly, but there's excitement twinkling in her eyes. It makes Santana nod after a pause, ignoring how terrified she feels.

She looks away as Brittany opens it, rolls onto her back away from her and stares at the ceiling after Brittany untangles her arms from around her to open the gift.

She feels stupid because, well, because she's getting a bit ahead of herself here. They've barely been together, what? Two months? People have only known about them for a few weeks. It's... She knows that it's a bit much for it being so soon but, she spent hours laying looking up at her ceiling in bed from the second she realized they were (hopefully) still going to be together at Christmas. She wanted it to be special, she _thought_ it would be special, until she got the damn thing home and instantly felt stupid because she's getting miles ahead of herself if she thinks that Brittany's ready for what's in that bag.

She closes her eyes once Brittany's actually in the bag, squeezes them tightly together as she waits long moments to hear the squeak of a tiny hinge. When Brittany doesn't say anything, she finds her pride begin to swell inside of her while stone walls start to preemptively build themselves up to protect her heart from disappointment. Her eyes flicker open softly and she brings her hands onto her stomach until she can wring them together nervously.

Finally, Brittany speaks, her voice thick with something Santana doesn't really recognize.

"You... you got me a ring?" She asks.

Santana blinks because her eyes still start to sting. She still feels stupid. "Yeah," she nods. "I'm... I'm sorry."

Brittany lets out a little laugh of disbelief and Santana wants to look at her but she's too scared to. "You got me a ring?" Brittany repeats.

Santana shrugs and gasps out the breath she's been holding. "I don't know what I was thinking," she says but she doesn't sound sure of herself at all. "I just thought..." she shrugs. "I just... you don't have to keep if you don't want it. I bought you that book about how to be a good president, too... I just..."

She doesn't expect it when Brittany rolls on top of her, thighs bracketing her hips. She leans down to press their foreheads together and it knocks all the wind from Santana, her hands reaching to brace themselves against Brittany's hips.

"You got me a ring," Brittany says again, a whisper this time. It isn't a question but a statement and Santana's finally forced to look at her, to see the disbelief and happiness in her eyes as she looks down at her.

She nods softly. "Yeah," she says and then again, because she doesn't want to force anything on her – "You don't have to wear it."

Brittany looks at her confused. "Why wouldn't I wear it?"

She sits up a little and takes the thing from the box. The blue of the sapphire makes blue shadows around the room and the small bracketing diamonds twinkle in the low light matching Brittany's eyes. She holds it between the fingers of both hands and Santana watches the nervous excitement in her face as she pauses before putting it on.

"I..." she starts. Her cheeks pink. "Will... will you put it on for me?"

Santana sees the challenge in her eyes and knows what it means. She gulps as she reaches to take the small piece of white gold from between Brittany's fingers and knows what she's asking her. Brittany wipes both her palms on the thighs of her pants and holds them both low and level for Santana to take. Santana bites her lip as she watches her carefully, sees how she's attempting to patiently see which hand she puts it on.

It takes her a moment, but it's probably the easiest thing she's ever done when she finally reaches out to steady the shaking of Brittany's left hand. It's even easier to proceed and push it down her fourth finger until it's snug against her skin.

She lets her hands drop from Brittany's to rest on her thighs and stares at how perfect the ring looks there before she can't take it anymore and has to look up and make sure she's done the right thing.

The wideness of Brittany's eyes and the tears that threaten to fall in them say more than enough. The disbelief in Brittany's face and the pride there too; they make the weeks of worry worth it as Brittany stares at her like nothing else exists in the world apart from them.

Santana's not prepared for it when she takes a shallow breath in, or when her eyes widen just that little bit more. It's like as soon as Santana looked up at her and she saw the sincerity in her yes, she had the last thing she needed to know that this was actually happening.

"Yeah?" she gasps softly. Her right hand reaches to touch the ring to make sure it's there.

Santana nods and can't help the chuckle that leaves her lips. "Yeah," she nods, grabbing Brittany's hand until their noses are pressed together again. "For now."

Brittany giggles and when they kiss, her hands press to Santana's cheeks like she can't believe she's real.

/

They're still making out a while later (and have lost their pajama pants, too) when Brittany suddenly rolls off of her and reaches into her bag. Santana's a little bit mad because Brittany had been whispering quietly in her ear what she'd like to do to her if they weren't laying on the Hummel-Hudson living room floor.

"I forgot!" she says around a gasp. "I have your Christmas present, too."

Santana's about to forget her annoyance and get excited but then... she catches the sight of a familiar looking robin egg blue box. Her heart drops a little and she blinks because it can't be real –

But then, no. Brittany smirks a little as she instantly returns to kissing her, forcing a box into her hands that she didn't expect to have for quite some time.

"Britt Britt," she says warningly as she brings it up to her chest. Brittany keeps kissing her, even as she narrows her eyes and looks at it. Sure enough, Tiffany. She waits until Brittany's moved away a little before she shakes her head, smiling. "I'm mad at you," she says. "What did you do?"

Brittany scoffs and resumes her kisses. Santana almost says _screw the box_ when Brittany's kisses linger behind her ear and start sucking.

"My stocks are doing well," she explains carefully. "And, plus, my mom knows a lady who got me a deal..."

Santana's barely able to concentrate on what she's saying when she's got kisses happening behind her ear, a hand under her shirt at her hip and a Tiffany box on her chest. She lifts the lid of slowly and puts it beside her. Her heart stops a little at what she finds inside.

"It's..." Brittany whispers when Santana holds up the locket. "You're supposed to get the owner's initials engraved on it, but..." she shrugs. "I thought I'd put mine instead."

Santana holds the metal in her hands, feels it warming against the heat of her palm as she pulls Brittany down for a kiss. Brittany barely lets her before she's pulling away and urging Santana to sit up. When she does, she takes the locket from Santana's hands and unlatches it ready to place it around Santana's neck. When the pendant touches her skin, Santana reaches up to touch it while she relishes the touch of Brittany's fingers, carefully fastening it at the back of her neck.

"I know..." Brittany starts before Santana can even say thank you. "I wanted to buy you a ring, too..." she admits softly. "But I... I got scared just buying you the locket," she shrugs. "I didn't want to scare you away," she explains as she begins to lay them back down. "But you deserve it. You deserve so much because you've been through so much these past few months. You've done so many brave things." Brittany's arm hooks underneath her neck as one hand plays with her hair and the other touches the locket around her neck. "I just... I didn't want you to feel like you were losing everything with all of this stuff happening... I wanted you to always have a reminder that, from all of this, you got my heart, too..."

Santana's stunned. She looks at Brittany, not sure what to say but knows that she has to. What comes from her mouth, isn't what she expects it to be. She waits for _Thank you _or _I don't deserve you _to leave her lips, but it doesn't.

"Your ring..." she starts. "It... it has my name engraved on the inside."

Brittany frowns at her before she reaches with her hand to pull off the ring. Santana watches her as she curiously looks at the name written on the inside of the band.

"_'Santana Marie'_," She reads softly. "Where's your last name?"

Santana gulps up at her and shakes her head. "That's... that's," she coughs and smiles, sudden tears in her eyes, except they don't feel so sudden. "Lopez won't always be my last name," she explains softly. It takes Brittany a moment but then her eyes widen again in understanding.

"Oh," she smiles goofily.

"Yeah," Santana nods, reaching for the ring. She slips it back on Brittany's finger for a second time and momentarily feels excited for the next two times she gets to slip different rings on the same finger.

But then Brittany's kissing her, whispering to her how much she loves her and she can think about very little else.

/

_I give her all my love, that's all I do, and if you saw my love, you'd love her too. I love her!_

Santana giggles as Brittany sing-whispers into her ear. The last time she looked it was almost six am but neither of them seem to be sleepy enough to want to go to sleep. She's quite content to let Brittany sing and whisper into her ear for as long as she wants, especially when she gets to play with the brand new locket around her neck and catch the sparkling of Brittany's ring every so often.

"Where'd you learn that song?" she asks softly.

Brittany kisses her. "My grandma was listening to it and it reminded me of you, so it ended up stuck in my head."

"Oh yeah?"

She hums in response. "A lot of stuff that reminds me of you ends up stuck in my head actually."

"Like what?"

Brittany giggles and there's that naughty giggle again, fingers brush down from the hand clutching her locket to the waistband of her panties.

"I could show you but you said we're not allowed to have sex on Kurt's living room floor," she husks. "Because these panties..." she whispers. "They remind me of lots of things."

Santana gulps. Kisses press on her neck again, punctuated by a sudden bite.

"That's unless..." Brittany starts. "You've changed your mind."

Santana lets out a shaky breath. Her hand follows the same path Brittany's fingers did until she can wrap it around and wrist and urge it beneath soft lace.

"I don't care," she gasps when Brittany takes the hint. "I really, really don't care."

/

"Eres la mejor que jamás he tenido."

Brittany giggles at her after a moment. "I knew that already."

Santana sweeps a hand to smack at her ass where it wraps around her waist. "Mean."

"What?" Brittany says chuckling. "I'm the best anyone's ever had."

It's almost seven in the morning and Santana's not sure how a sweeping comment about Spanish class ended up with them practicing their Spanish on each other. She's even less sure how the Spanish became them telling each other secrets.

"Now, you give me one," she says scratching at the base of Brittany's spine. She purrs like a cat almost, sprawled out over her as they fight to stay awake.

"Estoy cansada," Brittany mumbles against her neck."Pero... no quiero dormir. Quiero... mirarte para siempre."

Santana giggles, loving Brittany's funny Spanish accent. "Go to sleep," she instructs. "You can look at me forever in the morning."

"But I want to look at you now," Brittany whines, groaning. "Eres la cosa mas bonita que jamás he visto."

Santana chuckles. "Is this what you do all Spanish class? Think of new ways to make me weak at the knees?"

Brittany smirks around a yawn. "Yep."

Santana rolls her eyes and kisses her forehead. "Go to sleep, before I'm forced to kiss you again."

"Wouldn't have to force you," Brittany mumbles, but then: "Okay... but... tell me another Spanish secret."

Santana huffs but she turns her head to look at Brittany and smiles. Her hands, strokes over the knuckles of Brittany's hand, still wrapped around her shoulders and she smiles as she grazes her fingers over the ring.

"Quiero casarme contigo," she lets tumble quietly from her mouth. Brittany's tired breath hitches at it after a moment, once the words have processed.

She snuggles closer to her and Santana turns as she feels her body relax completely, face pillowed on her shoulder.

"Silly," she mumbles, sleep drunk and quiet. "That's not a secret if I want it too."

Santana laughs and watches, waits for the moment when Brittany slips into sleep, before she joins her.

/

When she wakes up, it doesn't feel like she's slept all that long at all. Her eyes sting and her body aches. For a second, she panics that everything was a dream and her hand automatically drifts up to her neck to feel for the locket.

Her heart flips over when she finds it warm against her skin.

It flips again when she finds Brittany exactly where she fell asleep, mouth drooling a little onto the shoulder of Santana's t-shirt. Santana can hear the sounds of people in the kitchen but she ignores it in favor of watching Brittany. She looks adorable, skin pale and lips pink, her body heavy against her as it disappears beneath their mountain of covers.

She looks down at Brittany's left hand, somehow drifted from her shoulder onto the curve of her breast in sleep. Santana laughs a little and shakes her head, doesn't think again when she slowly begins to push Brittany back onto her back.

It's like settling a baby. Brittany makes an airy little sigh before she searches for the comfort she just lost. Her brow furrows and she reaches out for Santana's body hovering above her. Santana doesn't let her eyes open before she's kissing her. She was probably waking up before but, she likes the idea of waking Brittany with kisses. After a moment, Brittany finally starts to kiss back. It's sloppy and lazy like the best morning kisses are.

"Sleepy," she whines when Santana starts to kiss her cheeks and nose. She wraps her arms around Santana. "Come sleep more with me."

Santana giggles. She'd love that but she's pretty sure Kurt and Berry will be in here at any moment to start the clean up mission.

"Later," she says before hoisting herself up onto her forearms. She likes the way the locket hangs between them. Brittany must too, because she tugs her down by it to kiss her again until Santana pulls away giggling. "Come on, wake up..." she whispers. "Berry's awake and I'm not wearing any pants." Brittany reaches down to cup her ass at the reminder. "Come on, baby, wake up. I want to start my new year with you some more."

Brittany cracks her eyes open finally. "What did you have in mind?" she says.

Santana smiles. "My parents are visiting family," she says softly, teasingly, even as Brittany's hands start to wander. "I was thinking... movie marathon, and cuddles..."

"Yeah?"

Santana lets her head collapse to kiss Brittany. "Yeah," she whispers. "Plus, I have another pair of new underwear to show you. I think you'll like them."

Brittany's eyes narrow. "And why is that?"

It's Santana's turn to lean into her ear and whisper then. When Brittany hears what she says, Santana feels her entire body shiver. Santana giggles into the kiss that Brittany gives her, rolling her back onto her covers.

Unfortunately, it's interrupted by two sets of feet wandering into the living room.

"OH MY GOD!"

"I can't... I can't... just look at them!"

Santana feels no embarrassment when her forehead falls forward onto Brittany's because, honestly, if all years with Brittany are going to start like this, she can't wait for the rest of them.


	2. I'm So Tired

**Part two of (I've Got To Admit) It's Getting Better: New Year Trilogy**

**Spoilers for 3x09 "Extraordinary Merry Christmas"**

**Summary: **_I don't want to waste the last day and a half we have left to be goofy with each other by spending it sleeping._

**Notes: Title from the Beatles "I'm So Tired"**

**I'm So Tired**

Brittany's trying to wake up again half an hour later when Kurt walks back into the living room, sans Rachel. Santana glances to look at him as he wanders in and can't wipe the huge smile off her face when she feels Brittany sinking deeper into her as her fight fails. She continues to stroke her fingers at the back of her neck, even though she knows it's probably not helping.

She sees Kurt out of the corner of her eye, picking up trash from the carpeted floor and taking the decorations from the wall. He seems to be paying no attention, but she can feel his eyes on her still as she watches Brittany in her sleep.

"We'll be out of your hair soon," she says softly, in a whisper. "Just as quickly as I can get this one to stay awake for more than five minutes."

Kurt snaps his head around to her and smiles. He shakes his head when she looks up at him and waves off her words.

"Don't worry about it," he says kindly. "Take as long as you need; we're in no rush today."

Santana nods and looks back to Brittany, even though she knows Kurt is still watching. "She never was any good at waking up. She always has to set her alarm for five am on school days, just in case." Her other hand pulls the covers up around her back and snuggles them around her bare arms. "She had a lot of champagne too, so she'll probably need a while to sleep that off."

"It's no problem," Kurt says again. "Blaine's the same. He was sprawled across my bed with his head in the pillow the last time I saw him."

Santana nods. "Apparently I'm her pillow."

Brittany takes that moment to mumble in her sleep, something that sounds like "water" – or maybe "French toast"- Santana doesn't really hear, the words muffled against her shoulder.

Kurt comes to stand beside them and giggles. "Rachel and I are gonna get the house back in order first but, after that, we're gonna make brunch," Santana looks up at him in time to see him shrug. "You're more than welcome to stay."

Santana can't stop the way her eyes widen a little, but then she nods before he can take the offer back and smiles as Kurt returns to the kitchen.

/

It takes another forty minutes of Santana laying there stroking her hair but, slowly, Brittany starts to wake up. She groans, low and soft, barely unwrapping the sleep from her body before she tightens herself back around Santana.

Her body rolls entirely on top of her, face buried in her chest. Santana laughs but holds her still, even as Brittany's hands reach up to rest on her boobs.

"You okay?" she whispers softly, kissing her temple, unable to mask her amusement.

Brittany groans again and Santana can feel her pouting. "My head hurts," she half mumbles, half whimpers. Santana doesn't pause and moves her hand up to press it against the back of her skull to protect her and urge the pain away. "I don't like champagne," Brittany decides quickly. "I think it's got too many bubbles."

Santana nods and hums in agreement. "Definitely too many bubbles."

"I feel like I've eaten a teddy bear."

Santana strokes her hair some more. "You want me to get you some water?"

Brittany tries to shake her head but changes her mind quickly when she notices how much it hurts. It makes something in Santana's chest ache a little and she holds her closer, keeping her head still, the other hand reaching up to join the first.

"Can we just lay here for a little longer?" she says quietly. "Do you think Kurt will mind?"

Santana smiles and kisses the crown of Brittany's head. She loves that she's not lying when she says, "I think it'll be okay."

/

"Look who's awake!" Rachel practically shrieks the next time she comes into the living room.

Santana clicks her tongue at her, scowling as she moves her hand to cover Brittany's ear not pressed to her chest when she winces. Still, her voice is surprisingly calm when she says, "Wanna be any louder, Berry?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Rachel says and Santana rolls her eyes at the way her whisper still sounds like a normal person talking. "What's wrong?"

"Hangover," Santana explains.

"From the champagne?" Santana nods and Rachel's face falls with sympathy. "I'll go see if Kurt has a Tylenol or something."

Santana opens her mouth to speak, but then she closes it again. She feels awkward when she calls Rachel's name as she's wandering back out into the kitchen.

"Could... could you get her a glass of water too?"

/

Kurt wanders in next and Santana would normally yell if she didn't feel like she was imposing so bad. He brightens a little when he sees Brittany's awake but just smiles and carries on around them like they're not even there.

Santana's kind of confused why she cares so little about him seeing them like this. She still feels nervous when she knows people can see them holding hands. Kissing her in front of people was like climbing her own personal Everest. Allowing her friends, these people that were so easy to judge her for her actions, to see her at her most vulnerable shouldn't be something that they're seeing so soon, but she just can't find it in herself to care.

"Is it okay if I take these quilts back upstairs?" Kurt asks. "I don't know how you're not sweltering under all these."

Santana nods and Kurt smiles appreciatively before he begins to drag the covers off of them. It isn't until she feels the fabric moving over her bare legs that she accidentally jolts Brittany when she grabs to keep the last quilt covering their legs.

Kurt looks at her questioningly and a little like she's crazy. Santana's cheeks burn and she opens her mouth to explain but she struggles to find a way to without revealing that they might have had sex on his living room floor the night before.

"Santana?" he says gently. Santana continues to open and close her mouth like a fish, looking around for help which she finds in Brittany suddenly looking up at her and giggling.

"We're not wearing any pants," she says proudly and pointedly as she turns to Kurt. His face flushes awkwardly as Santana winces a little. "We sleep better that way," she continues before he can get any (completely accurate) ideas.

That seems to placate his concerns. "I'll... I'll let you deal with that then," he says before leaving quickly.

/

Kurt's parents must have like super expensive heating bills because, Kurt was right. This house is almost unbearably hot. It feels like, if anything, the mountain of quilts kept _out_ the heat in the house. Sweat instantly starts dripping down Santana's spine and she tugs at the thickness of her flannel pajama pants because it feels like they're suffocating her legs.

Brittany just shakes her head and takes her own back off again and shoves them in her bag before following Santana into the kitchen in her nothing but her panties and t-shirt.

It's no cooler than the rest of the house.

"Jeez, Kurt. You trying to cook us or something?"

Kurt turns, his eyes widening at Brittany's attire before he shakes his head.

"Finn did it," he explains and, really, it's all that needs to be said. She nods as Kurt waves to the table that's now devoid of the TV set and set out ready for a ten person brunch. "We shouldn't be too long," he says, "We're just waiting on the boys to get up and help with the furniture and I'll start cooking."

Santana feels weird but right when she says, "I could... I could help you cook if you wanted."

Kurt just shakes his head at her like it's nothing. He's too busy stuffing more trash into bags to do anything else. "It's okay," he says. "I've got it. There's coffee in the pot if you want it, juice in the carton and a painkiller on Brittany's plate for her headache."

Santana looks at Brittany to see if she's noticing anything weird, but she's too busy reaching for the juice with no pulp and slipping the pill into her mouth.

/

She's uncomfortable with how comfortable it is. She sits beside Brittany at the table as Kurt wordlessly flips on the TV sat on the counter and hands them the remote. Sitting beside Brittany in her pajamas at Kurt's kitchen table feels like something she'll be doing for a long time, completely normal and acceptable.

Quinn is first downstairs, perfectly dressed in clean clothes and looking pissed off as hell. She falls into the seat on the other side of Santana and glares at Puck as he wanders downstairs, before getting dragged into the living room with Rachel and Kurt. Santana chuckles when she hears Quinn mumbling about him under her breath.

Tina and Mike join them, hair in disarray as Tina steps over to sit with them at the table while Mike wanders into the living room to where Kurt and Rachel are already bossing Puck around.

"Morning, ladies," Blaine nods to them as he skips happily into the kitchen. Brittany and Tina wave as Santana nods, and he takes a sip of coffee from Kurt's mug sat on the counter before leaving too.

Minutes later, Finn falls into the kitchen rubbing his eyes. He doesn't seem shocked to see them. "Where's breakfast?" he asks to none of them in particular just as Rachel calls his name.

Santana smirks and drinks her coffee, barely confused by the weird comfort that chips away at the awkwardness mellowed out inside of her.

Brittany silently ignores everything around her to watch the Tom chase Jerry on screen, reaching silently for Santana's hand beneath the table, and yeah... She could definitely get used to this.

/

Soon, they're all sat around the table, laughing and joking as Kurt slips on his apron and begins cooking them brunch. No one seems to have any problem with Brittany's choice of cartoon and she, Mike, Puck and Finn laugh out loud every so often at the TV while Santana, Quinn and Tina talk with Blaine about a music documentary they all happened to catch last week. Rachel buzzes around trying to be involved in all three things at once.

"So, if brunch is breakfast and lunch... can an afternoon snack between lunch and dinner be linner?" Brittany asks suddenly. "Or dunch... dinch... lunner?"

Santana giggles and squeezes her hand. Finn seems to ponder the question.

"I think it can be whatever you want it to, Britt," Blaine says as he returns to the table with a fresh pot of coffee. "I'm sure the only thing you'll be calling Kurt's omelets is 'wonderful', though," he assures.

Santana turns to her and waits for yet another confused rant about eggs but all Brittany does is shrug. "I don't know," she says. "Santana makes a pretty mean omelet."

"She does?" Blaine says quirking an eyebrow. "That sounds like a challenge."

Not five minutes later, she's engaged in an omelet making duel with Kurt Hummel.

/

"There's no way you would have won that if I wasn't classy enough to keep cilantro and jalapeno peppers in our kitchen," Kurt grumbles.

Santana giggles and watches as they all demolish what's on the plates in front of them. "Just accept that you suck at omelets, Hummel," she teases. "These cinnamon rolls are awesome, though."

"They're low fat," he informs her. She laughs a little.

"Don't ruin it."

He rolls his eyes and lifts the coffee pot up. "More?" he asks, only needing her nod and half the table to lift their cups, to begin pouring.

"Can I have more juice?" Brittany asks, lifting her hand from where it holds Santana to pass Kurt her glass.

Her left hand just so happens to wave itself in front of both Kurt and Rachel's faces. Santana's already sipping on her coffee and and eating her eggs when she hears their booming voices exploding together.

"WHAT IS THAT!" they both scream at once. The mere sound of it throws anyone in the near vicinity back into their chairs at the shrillness. Finn actually almost falls backwards off his chair.

Santana clutches at her ear, blinks her eyes as she tries to make sense of what the hell is going on around her. Everyone else seems to be clutching their ears while Brittany, dejected and confused, puts her glass back down onto the table.

"I just wanted some juice," she mumbles as Kurt and Rachel clamber around the table to reach her. They manage to intercept Brittany's hand as Santana tries to take hold of it again, clutching it between them as they stare at something. Santana's stomach jumps a little when she remembers what they're looking at.

"Is that a blue sapphire?"

"Are those _diamonds_?"

"Is it white gold or silver?"

"I think it might be platinum..."

"I think we're ignoring the bigger picture here," Kurt says lowly. "_Where_ did you get this?" he hisses.

"I..."

"You weren't wearing it last night," he accuses and Santana's too busy looking at her plate to catch Brittany's confused face looking at her. "I judged and logged every item on your body the minute you both walked in."

"I..." she starts. "Santana gave it to me last night..."

"Wait," Quinn says from beside her. "You gave Brittany a ring?"

Santana's eyes go wide as her cheeks go pink. "I..."

"An expensive looking ring, by the looks it," Blaine smiles kindly. Santana looks from one face to another as they all stare at her. Even Puck and Finn have looked up from their plates to see what's going on.

"I wondered why you were looking at rings," Finn blurts. Santana sinks down in her chair, ready to kill him or die.

Rachel claps her hands together. "You took Finn with you?" she says excitedly. "That's so exciting!"

"We just ran into each other," she whispers to herself, unable to be heard through the excitement. Brittany must feel how uncomfortable she is because she pulls her hand away and takes the locket around Santana's neck from beneath her shirt and points at it. "

"I got Santana a locket," she says, quickly. "It's from Tiffany."

"From _Tiffany_!" Rachel and Kurt scream, grabbing them both. Brittany brightens, thinking her diversion has worked but then –

"Are you two getting _married?_"

Santana opens her mouth and waves her hands redundantly. Everyone around them just looks at where Kurt and Rachel grip at the precious metals attached to their bodies. Santana couldn't find the words if she wanted to but Brittany forces Rachel to let go of her hand while Kurt still holds the locket alarmingly tightly in his fingers.

"I always thought Santana wasn't a ring person," Rachel nods adamantly above the awkward silence. "What a lovely way to shake up the tradition!"

"No, no," Brittany shakes her head. "It's not like that... it's... we're not getting married... It's just a ring. It's just a locket. We're not getting married."

Santana's brow furrows a little at her words and her heart sinks a little at Brittany's words. She looks over at the ring on Brittany's finger and wonders if she understood what Brittany was saying last night. Everyone looks at her as she does, waiting for her to tell them that Brittany's right.

"Isn't that right, Santana?" Brittany says and Santana can hear the nerves. "You just... you just got me a ring."

Santana feels like she should agree but, she doesn't want to at the same time. There's something nagging inside of her instantly that thinks about all the things she imagined when she leaned over a glass case and said "that one" and only one of them was how that giant blue sapphire was going to look on Brittany's finger. The ring was a stepping stone to something bigger and she thought Brittany got that.

It's got to be all this sudden comfort she feels around her friend that has her sheepishly shrugging. Brittany's eyes narrow a little and she forgets everything around her to look at Santana carefully.

"It's..." she shakes her head. "It's not just a ring."

Brittany's eyes widen but she doesn't say anything. They just stare at each other in the midst of their friends' stares and try to work each other out without words. It's kind of hard to when Rachel Berry squeaks impatiently and asks, "then what is it?"

Santana looks up at her and shrugs. She looks back down at her plate, hands in her lap, as she speaks. "I just... I wanted you to know that I'm serious now," she explains, words quiet as her chin practically tucks into her chest. "I thought you got that when I gave it to you. That's why I put it on that finger. I'm not proposing to you yet and... I probably won't for a while, but that ring is holding a place for when I do."

"It is?"

Santana looks up and glances around at their friends. "Yeah," she nods and nervously laughs a little. "You deserves diamonds, and... I can't give you diamonds yet but it's a promise that I will. It's a promise I'll work hard to get you everything you deserve."

Brittany has that same look as last night, the same one she had when Santana was sure she understood. Seeing it again makes her a little nervous and she's about to ask if Brittany gets what she's saying now when Brittany leans over quickly and presses a kiss to her lips.

It's nothing compared to other kisses, but it still lingers. Santana hears Puck start to whoop before the sound is cut off quickly by Quinn, Tina and Mike simultaneously hitting him in the stomach to stop him. Brittany pulls back a little after a moment and looks at her guilty.

"Sorry," she whispers. "I couldn't help it."

Santana shakes her head and she darts her eyes away quickly before she forgets where she is and just keeps kissing her. Just as expected eight pairs of eyes look at her softly, proudly, and she wants to glare but all she can do is shake her head a little.

But Kurt is still there, ass resting on the edge of the table beside her plate. He picks up the locket around her neck and she watches as he runs his thumb over Brittany's engraved initials.

"Has it got a picture in it?" he asks suddenly.

Santana narrows her eyes and can't believe she didn't think to check that. She darts her eyes at Brittany as she mumbles out an, "I don't know." She's ready to check when Brittany's hand reaches up to stop her.

"I wouldn't," she whispers with a secret smirk. It's secret enough that it doesn't intrigue Kurt but makes him feel awkward. Santana is, though, and her eyes narrow as Brittany runs her lips together to stop herself from grinning any bigger.

"Later," she says with a wink.

Santana can't wait to get the hell out of here.

/

Brittany tries to help Kurt with the dishes until she almost breaks a plate and he sends her away. Santana doesn't know when is appropriate to leave things like this, so she lets Brittany sit on her lap, lips pressed to her forehead, as she watches Kurt, Quinn and Tina finish up the job while the boys watch TV in the living room.

She'll leave when Brittany tells her she wants to. She knows how much she likes things like this and that she likes them to last as long as possible. So she just rides it out quietly and finds that it's a lot easier with her arms wrapped around Brittany's waist as Brittany toys with the locket around her neck.

But when she feels Brittany's body begin to sag again, she jerks because the sudden amount of wait on her shoulders makes her unsteady. She tries to look up but she can't quite see anymore.

"She's asleep," Quinn whispers from across the room. Santana hears the words at the same time she feels the first drip of saliva against her neck and smiles. "Wait here," Quinn says softly. "I'll go get your stuff and you can get her home."

Santana nods but calls Quinn back.

"Could you bring me her pants?"

Quinn just smiles.

/

Brittany's wide awake and bouncing to the radio by the time they get halfway back to her house. Santana laughs because, if the drool patch on her shoulder wasn't still drying beneath her coat, she'd think she was sneaky enough to plan it.

Leaving Kurt's also leaves her own exhaustion to fall heavily on her shoulders and she's pretty sure the only reason she's not blacking out at the wheel is because Brittany's in the car and she's singing to the radio louder than a person probably should do. Still, her limbs ache like they're filled with a poison only sleep is the antidote for. The clock on the dash tells her that it's only just turned one in the afternoon. She's _exhausted. _

She's glad when they get to her house and walk up the driveway to find it empty . She's even more glad when she finally trudges upstairs to her bedroom and falls backwards onto the bed.

For the first time ever, she's not so glad when Brittany tugs her to the edge by her thighs and lifts them up so she can peel away the pajama bottoms she's still wearing. She whimpers at every single kiss Brittany litters up her legs as she makes her way up her body to kiss her.

"Britt Britt," she whines lowly. Brittany's head is up her shirt, kissing at what flesh of her breasts spills from her bra, and she hates herself when she pulls her back out from beneath it. She kisses Brittany slowly before blond hair spills around them.

"What?" Brittany smiles, wiping her own saliva from the corner of Santana's mouth.

"Can we just..." she starts but then she changes direction. "Britt Britt, it's not that I don't love you – you're my whole damn world – it's just," She trails off when Brittany rolls her eyes happily and starts kissing at her neck, sucking at her pulse. "Britt Britt," she whimpers. "I'm _tired_ and I don't want to fall asleep when you're trying to give me an orgasm." Brittany bursts out laughing, forehead pressed to her chin. "It's not funny! That would be rude!"

Still, she's smiling, her cheeks feel like they're a rosy warm pink and Brittany's laughing at her like she's the best thing in the world, even though she just told her no. She kisses Brittany's forehead and nudges her up to look at her. Brittany settles her body over her then and Santana knows she's won. Hands stroke her hair from her face and her eyes flutter closed at the feel of warm fingers touching her skin as gentle as a breath. She pouts because she doesn't want to say no, but she doesn't want to fall asleep and waste Brittany's efforts, either. "Can I have a nap first?"

Brittany smiles and nods. Santana doesn't have to do a thing as Brittany lifts her body until it's against her pillows and tugs the covers around them. Brittany wraps her body around Santana's and Santana doesn't realize she's asleep until she's dreaming.

/

"Pretty girl... oh, pretty girl... it's time to wake up..."

Santana's eyes flutter and she sighs. A laugh fills her ears but she's not ready to open her eyes and see the beautiful person that will undoubtedly be hovering above her. A nose nudges hers and she whines a little, needing contact against her body as her hands blindly search out Brittany to hold her against her.

Brittany giggles and grabs her hands to stop her. She lifts them until they're beside Santana's head on the pillow, her entire body grinding down against her quickly before pulling away. Santana arches up at the contact, her eyes fluttering open softly to glare at her.

It's really hard to do that when Brittany's leaning down to suck on her top lip.

"Stop pouting," she whispers. "You'll get stuck like it one day and I'll miss your smile."

Santana smiles in response.

Brittany grins. "That's better," she chuckles before she leans down and kisses her slowly, drawing the feelings out like she's bleeding them from her. It becomes unbearable quickly, not having anything to hold onto but Brittany's hands. She squeezes them until her knuckles go white and she's panting, desperate to be grounded properly.

She pulls away, desperate for breath.

"What..." she pants. "What time is it?"

Brittany's too busy sucking at her neck to answer and Santana finds she doesn't care when one hand releases hers and makes light work of drifting up under her shirt to rest over her breast. A thumb teases her nipple and she lets out a shaky breath at the feel.

"About six," Brittany says when she lifts her head to look at her, pushing her hair back from her face in a way that makes heat pool between Santana's legs way too quickly. "Are you hungry?"

Brittany sits up until she's sat on Santana's pelvis. Santana narrows her eyes confused because... she was sure that things were heading in _that_ direction but now she's not so sure. "What?"

Brittany smirks and Santana scoffs silently because _damn she's sneaky_.

"Your parents left you money on the counter in the kitchen," Brittany tells her. "So, I ordered pizza."

Santana smiles and lets her hands move to rest on Brittany's thighs. She gets her own back a little when she lets her fingers drift up too high and move in too close. Brittany's spine fails her and buckles at the sensation, forcing her to steady herself with two hands against Santana's thighs behind her.

"What pizza did you get?"

"Pepperoni," she says as she scoops her hair up onto the top of her head, holding it there for long moments while her shirt rides up. Santana stares up at her favorite freckles.

"Is it here yet?"she asks, eyes trained on Brittany's stomach, letting them widen when her arms stretch up above her and show Santana more skin. Her hands reach out and flatten themselves against the ridges of her ribs before she pulls herself to sit up.

Her mouth finds Brittany's skin easily and Brittany hums as she pushes Santana back against the bed, spine buckling again as she hovers above her. Santana pushes Brittany's shirt up around her chest and wraps her mouth around a nipple without warning. Hips buck into hers and she smiles.

"It's..." Brittany breathes out unsteadily. "It's on your desk."

Santana releases with a pop. Her eyes narrowing, smirk growing on her face. Her hands drift down Brittany's back, her finger scratching at the curve of her hip before she pushes them down the back of Brittany's underwear. With warm hands curving around her backside, Brittany starts to shiver. Santana relishes every second of it as she pushes the fabric down Brittany's legs far enough that she can kick them off beneath the covers. Santana's hands trail up the backs of her thighs, lets her fingers dip between Brittany's legs and find moisture, before she strokes her palms up Brittany's back, tugging her shirt up over her head.

Her own follows it.

"C'mere," she says softly as she sinks lower down onto the mattress, tugging Brittany forward until there's a knee either side of her head. Her hand reaches around to press against Brittany's back and when she pulls Brittany down for her first taste, she feels the way her spine buckles again and again.

/

She's been pretty much daydreaming about this since Brittany left for Santa Fe. Her mouth moves against her smoothly, her hands stroke and squeeze at perfect curves of soft skin, and her fingers scratch down her thighs occasionally because of the way Brittany bucks into her when she does it.

It's more than she imagined it being, remembered it being, and when Brittany moans and pushes herself off of Santana's face using the headboard, she's ready to cry seconds before Brittany proves to her why she's better than any dream Santana will ever have.

It happens too fast: one minute Brittany's inner thighs are squeezing against her and the next they're not and she's spinning her entire body around until she's facing the other way. Santana blinks in confusion and then Brittany leans forward and starts tugging her own underwear down her legs while her lips kiss at Santana's hips. Brittany parts her thighs and she's sucking greedily before Santana realizes what she's doing. She doesn't think twice before resuming her previous kisses between Brittany's legs.

She comes first, Brittany following too soon after, and Santana chuckles as Brittany collapses against her, cheek resting on her thigh, sighing with happiness.

"Well, that was new," Brittany breathes and Santana pats her on the ass gently before pressing another quick kiss between her legs.

She lays back down and hums in agreement, head tilting to the side until she can peer down their bodies to see Brittany looking up at her. She smiles when their eyes meet.

"Awesome, though," she smirks.

Santana grins and rolls her eyes simultaneously.

/

"How's your head, by the way?"

Brittany shrugs and passes her another slice. "I took a couple more Tylenol just before you woke up. It's okay."

Santana reaches up to brush Brittany's hair from her face and turns her head to kiss her on the cheek. "You should get more sleep," she says.

Brittany shakes her head and leans her head back to kiss Santana's chin in return. "Don't wanna," she sighs.

"Why?" Santana drawls out as the show finishes. She hands the remote to Brittany, who takes it and flicks through the channels to find something new to watch.

Brittany shrugs. "Just don't," she explains. "I missed nine days with you – way more than I should have done – I don't want to waste the last day and a half we have left to be goofy with each other by spending it sleeping."

Santana tosses her pizza crust back in the box only for Brittany to pick it up and start eating it.

"We're just sitting around, watching TV and eating pizza, Britt Britt," she says. "I don't mind if you sleep. You'll still be here."

Brittany shakes her head then shrugs.

"I missed you, is all," she says sadly. "I didn't like being without you," she admits with a shrug. "It reminded me of when we were fighting and stuff. I thought you might forget about me or something."

Santana squeezes her tighter. "Impossible," she whispers against Brittany's ear. "I couldn't stop thinking about you from the minute you left."

"I just..." Brittany starts and her face drops a little. Santana reaches up to tilt her head back until she can see her face. She furrows her brow questioningly and feels the way Brittany's shoulders shift with her awkward shrug. "I just don't like leaving you alone," she whispers. "What if something had happened? What if... what if someone was mean to you, or your Abuela – " Santana stiffens instantly and blinks in preemptive refusal of any tears that might come. Brittany sees and reaches up to cup her cheek. "That's my job," she explains softly, tilting Santana's face until their noses squash together. "Protecting your heart and making sure it doesn't hurt is my job, and I hated not being here to do it. You never said anything about what you were doing on the phone while I was away and I knew you wouldn't, so that's why I did all that stupid stuff... so I wouldn't have to worry that you were sad."

Santana kisses her once. "It wasn't stupid," she whispers. "And I wasn't sad..."

"You weren't?"

Santana shrugs. "It was weird and everything. My parents asked her if I could visit on Christmas like normal and she said no." Brittany opens her mouth to say something but Santana shakes her head. "It was okay because I expected it. If she'd said yes, it would have been great but, she didn't and that was okay."

"So, what did you do?"

"My parents were gonna just... not go," she explains. "But I couldn't let them do that. I was okay. It was weird missing church and everything, but I don't mind. I don't want to be anywhere I know I'm not wanted."

Brittany looks at her. "You should have told me. I would have... I would have come back."

Santana smiles. "And ruin another person's Christmas?" she shakes her head. "I couldn't let you do that for no reason. I was fine."

Brittany shakes her head and in a second, she's turned around facing Santana, hands wrapped around her cheeks, looking straight at her.

"Why do you still do that?" she whispers softly. Santana looks at her questioningly. "If you're sad, if you're lonely... if you _want_ me to be here... that's a reason. I would have come back."

Santana takes in a deep breath. "I know," she nods.

Brittany strokes her thumbs over her cheeks before she turns and resumes her previous position sat against her. Santana's arm wraps around her and they both snuggle closer, just because.

"I'm gonna be where you are next Christmas," Brittany says after a while. "I promise."

Santana chuckles. She looks at her for a second before kissing her forehead again. "You're here now and that's good enough for me."

/

Brittany wanders in and around her room wearing nothing but a pair of snug white cotton panties. Santana stares and knows that she shouldn't be letting herself get used to it, to this much of Brittany's bare skin constantly in her sight. It'll only mean bad things when it's not there anymore. She forces herself to look back at the TV when Brittany wanders back into her room carrying a huge bag of Doritos and some dip.

She can't stop the snort that leaves her.

"Really, Britt?" she mumbles. "You ate pizza like an hour and a half ago."

Brittany throws the items in her hands into the space beside Santana before climbing over her, nudging Santana's thighs apart until there's enough room for her to lay stomach down between them.

"I'm hungry," she explains, pulling the bag towards her at the same time she presses a kiss to Santana's stomach. "You wore me out."

"Then you should get some sleep," Santana forgets everything else and begins to comb her fingers through Brittany's hair. Brittany rolls her eyes and proceeds to scoop the Doritos into the dip. It stinks of fake nacho cheese flavor and Santana rolls her eyes. She can't complain about it when she always specifically asks her mom to get it in case Brittany's hungry when she comes by.

Brittany giggles as she eats. Santana watches how her fingers move from the bag to her mouth, tongue licking at her fingers. She's pretty sure Brittany can feel all the muscles in the lower half of her body tensing.

"What do you call cheese that isn't yours?" Brittany asks after a moment, mouth crunching around a mouthful. Santana shakes her head that she doesn't know as her hands linger down Brittany's arms. Brittany giggles again. "Nacho cheese," she tells her around a smile before bursting into chuckles when Santana rolls her eyes and smiles.

"You're such a dork," she says as Brittany's chuckles turn into full belly laughs of amusement. Santana just watches her, unable to contain her smile, even when she feels the dip drip onto her stomach."Ugh, Britt..." she winces. "That's gross. Did you bring a napkin?"

Brittany shakes her head as she licks off her fingers and puts the food to the side. Her eyes look around for something to wipe it off with but all there is is Santana's nice clean brand new sheets. Santana glares at Brittany when she reaches to wipe the dip off with them and doesn't even feel bad when Brittany drops them instantly and looks guilty.

It lasts about a second when Brittany takes one more look around the room, just in case, before dipping her head to Santana's stomach and licking the dip off instead.

Santana grimaces for a second but then she feels the warmth of Brittany's tongue through the cold of the dip and her breath catches a little in her throat.

"You sure it's gross?" Brittany teases, pulling back. Santana hisses in response. She doesn't even argue when Brittany blindly reaches for the dip and uses her finger to smear more over Santana's stomach.

It's vile, and Santana knows that she's probably going to have to bathe and shower about twelve times before she's sure she no longer smells like nacho cheese, but Brittany licks over her stomach, and deviates from the job to tease her tongue beneath her underwear, and she can't really care about how gross it is.

"Britt Britt," she warns when she does it again, lower this time, after she's pulled Santana's underwear down a little. She really doesn't want dip in her lady parts.

Brittany looks up at her and Santana glares at her when she chooses that moment to slip her finger between her lips and clean that off too, tongue swirling visibly around the digit.

"I..." she starts, but she's not really sure how to say no to this and still get what she needs at the same time. Instead, she just breathes out, frustrated at herself. Brittany grins at her and reaches for the dip again and she really wants to say no but Brittany's tongue... and...

She gives up quickly.

But the cold to her stomach doesn't come, just the sound of a lid being reapplied and the crunch of the bag of Doritos as they're thrown off the side of the bed. Santana whimpers because, no. Fine. She'll deal with the dip if Brittany just stays there, except it's being thrust into her hands and she looks down in time to see Brittany pulling the covers over her head with a mischievous smirk.

"Britt, what – " She trails off when she feels fingers curling around her underwear, tugging. She reaches beside her to put the dip on the nightstand but forgets about it when she feels her thighs being parted some more and a head lowering between them. "Oh..." she whispers dumbly.

Brittany giggles in response.

/

"I think we should just... give up trying to wear clothes," Brittany says a little while after. She reaches behind Santana's back to unclasp her bra and throws it across the room to reiterate her point.

Santana, too spent to argue, just giggles and rests a hand on the back of Brittany's head as it lowers to her breast.

"That would be awesome but it's getting late," she husks. "What time do you have to be home?"

Brittany releases her skin with a pop. "I don't know," she mumbles. "What time are your parents getting back?"

"Tomorrow night. Maybe Tuesday morning. Maybe later if they get stuck in the snow."

Brittany switches breasts, kissing into her cleavage as she makes her way. "Mom said I had to be home in time for bed on Monday," she tells her. "So..."

"You don't have to go home?" Brittany barely shakes her head, too wrapped up in her actions. "Wait, do you think we should your parents them that my parents aren't here?"

Brittany looks up at her then, a hand reaching up to make sure her breasts don't go left untended as she speaks.

"Wouldn't you rather spend all tonight and tomorrow having sex?"

Santana's ready to say something responsible, but then she hears Brittany's words and sees her questioning eyebrow quirk and forgets all the words in her vocabulary. Brittany smirks and kisses up her neck.

"Thought so," she whispers against her lips when she gets there.

/

"Do you want me to wash your hair?" Santana asks as she feels Brittany sinking softer into her body, hands losing purchase with her grip on the edge of the tub.

She nods sleepily and Santana's hands are there to steady her as she sits up in the bath. She keeps her steady with a chin to her shoulder and a strong body against her. Brittany's hands rest on Santana's knees either side of her and she gets that feeling again, the one where she knows she shouldn't get so used to how wonderful or normal this feels.

She lathers her own cocoa butter shampoo into Brittany's hair and is careful of her eyes as she washes it out in the low light of the bathroom. Every time they've done this since the first time, she's laughed at herself for not knowing it was a date. Brittany still insists on the candles, still insists on Santana playing the slow songs in the background, on the damn bubbles and the steaming hot water that makes them sweat. She's never felt less like Brittany's friend than when they're up to their shoulders in warm water, the bubbles melting around them. She always feels more like the person who will always be there to worship her skin and make it clean again.

"Do you want me to wash yours?" Brittany mumbles out quietly.

It's also their most quiet time together. They sink into the water and it feels like it protects them from everything around them, from the worry and the pain. They have nothing to be afraid of in the water and can just hold onto each other. Brittany always falls asleep against her and, if it wasn't for the fact that the water would start to hurt them, urging them to come back another time, she'd probably ask Britt if she wanted to stay there forever.

She shakes her head. "It's okay," she says softly. "I can do it, Sleepyhead."

Brittany shakes her head and struggles to turn to face her. She slips a little, Santana steadying her again, until her thighs are wrapped around Santana's waist, her knees digging into her sides a little. Her arms wrap around Santana's shoulders, just because and holds her close for a minute. Santana gets the sponge from the edge of the tub and uses it to scoop water and keep Brittany's shoulders warm. When she feels Brittany drifting off against her shoulder, she says nothing, and just washes her hair herself as quietly and gently as she can.

She doesn't know how to wake Brittany up when they're like this, so she just leaves her there, draped over her body. Her back gets tired, but she leans their bodies together, draping herself around Brittany until the natural forces keep them upright together. Her face buries itself against Brittany's shoulder, deep into her neck and she breathes in, confused to how she can still smell Brittany beneath the shampoo and the bubbles and the soap. She knows she'll never be able to work it out and she doesn't really want to.

There's just some things she's learned not to question.

/

She wraps herself further around Brittany to keep her warm while the water drains away. She wraps towels around Brittany, slowly towel-dries her hair while they're still sitting in the tub. It wakes her up a little and Santana uses the opportunity to get her up and out of the tub.

"I'm awake," she promises as Santana leads them back into her room. "I'm awake, I'm awake," she says but her eyes are still closed and her body still heavy when Santana sits her down on the edge of the bed.

She dries them both off and pulls on clean underwear before she finds some for Brittany in the pile of her clothes that sits in her closet. Brittany's soft and sleepy and doesn't argue as Santana clothes her, finding an old sleep shirt and pulling it over her shoulders before forcing her back into the bed so she can fasten the buttons.

Brittany curls into the bed easily and Santana finds her own shirt before slipping into the bed behind her, relishing the rare opportunity she has to be the big spoon. She leans over to look at Brittany's face first and kisses her cheek.

"Sleep tight, beautiful," she whispers against her hair before she decides against rest and, instead, stays up a while longer to watch her.


	3. Something

**Part three of (I've Got To Admit) It's Getting Better: New Year Trilogy**

**Spoilers for 3x09 "Extraordinary Merry Christmas"**

**Summary: **_This need to love and protect Brittany is, at last, overcoming everything else. _

**Notes: Title from the Beatles "Something"**

**Something**

She gets the text just after midnight. Her phone buzzes on the nightstand and she reaches over Brittany to grab it, careful not to wake her up.

_There's gonna be huge blizzards across Ohio tonight and tomorrow morning, _her mother says when she taps open the message. _We probably won't be home any time soon. Daddy put another couple of twenties behind your photo in the living room. Go get some supplies while you can in case you get stuck. Love you baby girl. Stay safe x _

She untangles herself slowly, eases her body away from Brittany's with gentle kisses and strokes of her palm. She wanders over to the window and, sure enough, the snow clouds look heavy and threatening as the first flakes fall. It scares her a little, this happening when her mom isn't here. She glances from the window to the bed to decide what she wants to do. Most stores close around midnight, probably earlier on New Years day, but she knows there's a gas station slash convenience store about twenty blocks away that never closes. She just isn't sure about waking Brittany up when she only just got to sleep.

She steps over to the side of the bed, and runs her hand through Brittany's hair, damp and curly from only being towel dried.

She can't wake her. She looks exhausted. So, instead, she leans down and kisses her on the forehead.

"I'll be back soon," she whispers. "I promise."

/

If it was any normal day, she wouldn't let another human that wasn't Brittany see her like this. She pulls the hood of her sweatshirt up over her hair and lets it fall baggy around the waist of her jeans. She'd never admit to anyone that they're the most comfortable boots she owns, but her Doc Martens adorn her feet. They're also the only thing she feels comfortable wearing in the snow, so, along with the three pairs of socks she has her jeans tucked into, she's feeling pretty toasty beneath her coat.

She walks the aisles of the small convenience store with a basket tucked over her arm, throwing anything she knows Brittany might like and they might need into it. She knows there's enough Kraft Macaroni and Cheese in her house to last until deep into 2012 but she gets enough breakfast food to last them a couple of days. Emergency toilet paper gets thrown in too.

"What are you doing here, Satan?"

Santana winces and turns to find Quinn and Puck looking back at her. She's not entirely sure what to think about it. They've been together a lot recently, but she's more concerned to why they're here at one in the morning, too.

"Could say the same thing to you," she says with a scowl. "Didn't you get a life ban from all convenience stores when you drove your mom's car into one?"

Puck smirks. "Only the ones on the other side of town," he says. "Did your folks send you out for supplies, too?" She nods. "I called Quinn when my mom jabbed me in the ribs to get me up. Where's Britt?"

"Asleep," Santana says without a thought. She's about to make up an excuse when she realizes she doesn't have to. Instead she says, "I don't think she'll be drinking champagne again any time soon."

Puck smirks. "Apart from when you're getting married." He waggles his eyebrows. Quinn swats at his stomach but she's smiling too.

Santana grins despite herself. "We're not getting married," she mumbles. "Not yet, anyway."

"I'm not knocking you for it," Puck holds up his hands. "You guys are perfect for each other. Britt's the only damn person you like!"

Santana laughs and shakes her head. "Yeah," she agrees. "I should get going before the blizzard starts," she says.

"Are you okay to drive on your own?" Puck asks as she starts to walk away.

She nods. "Yeah, Got my snow tires," she says. "I'll see you at school."

/

It gets kind of scary as she's driving back. It doesn't help that the clerk at the store told her that they're expecting state-wide blackouts because of the weather. She clutches the wheel and watches as the occasional street lamp flickers, threatening to fail.

She practically runs back up the drive when she gets there, bags clutched in her hands and the lamp the clerk had advised her to buy swinging off her fingers. She closes the door quickly to keep out the cold and drops the bags in the foyer before checking that they still have power. They do but she's not sure how long it will last. The clerk said that they were already at an hour with no power in Dayton and Lima was probably going to be soon.

She doesn't bother hanging her coat and manages to kick off her boots as she makes her way to the kitchen. She flicks on the lights and waits for them to cut out straight away, but they stay on as long as she puts away the groceries and wanders back upstairs.

Brittany's still there when she gets to her room. She's still fast asleep and she's somehow managed to kick the covers halfway off the bed, her legs bare and tangled up in them as Santana starts to undress. It's gotten colder and she hangs her clothes back inside her closet as she debates fetching more blankets from the linen closet down the hall, just in case.

Redressed in her sleep shirt, she leaves the room and returns moments later with an armful of blankets. Her nose buries in their fresh clean smell and she goes around the room, picking up random pieces of their clothing and throwing them onto the chair in front of her dresser. She's still not tired and content to just be in the same room as Brittany, her mere presence soothing. It isn't until she hears a pained whimper that she turns, her head snapping quickly to find the source of it.

Everything around her is quickly forgotten when she sees Brittany fussing. The blankets fall from her arms into a pile at the end of her bed and she's moving closer automatically to check on her. Except she's forced to pause when Brittany's mouth moves.

"Don't leave me..." she whimpers and Santana's heart drops instantly.

She quickly takes note of how Brittany's face is screwed up in anguish, the way her body has turned over and how her hand is outstretched waiting for a body that isn't there. Her eyes are still closed and her chest is still moving rhythmically with sleep but she should be awake and she isn't.

"Please..." she begs, sleep-sad as her breathing suddenly quickens. "Please don't go..."

She's heard Brittany talk in her dreams before but she's never seen her like this. The first sleepy sob that breaks free from her lips rips Santana in two. She practically trips over herself to reach for her. She's not sure what she's supposed to do; she knows that you shouldn't really touch someone if they're having a nightmare – it can make things worse – but she's not really sure if Brittany is or if she'd be able to stop herself when she looks this sad.

"Santana..." she whimpers, lip quivering and Santana's there, beside her, reaching for her as she remains deep asleep. "I'm sorry," she sobs a few times and Santana brings her close, cups her cheeks as she mumbles her name over and over again. "Don't go..."

"I'm here, Britt Britt," she whispers but Brittany just starts sobbing fully. Face screwed up and shrouded in misery. "I'm right here," she says because there's nothing more she can say. It just makes things worse as Brittany reaches out to grab for her, shuddering as real tears begin to pour over her face.

Santana would be lying if she said she wasn't terrified of what was happening. She just wants her to wake up and see that she's right here, but the dream in her head won't let her. She strokes blond hair from tight shut eyes and kisses Brittany's face, hoping the touch will be enough to jar her back into consciousness. She rolls her onto her back, hovers over her and kisses all over her face and neck to show her that she's right here, glad when Brittany's fists grab at the cotton of her shirt and hold her close.

It's not until the sobs become unbearable, that Brittany's gasping for breath and begging "no" over and over again, that Santana can't take it anymore. She presses their lips together and shushes her quickly, feeling the tears pooling in her own eyes at the sight of Brittany so distraught.

"I'm here." She sounds like she's begging. She almost is. She doesn't want Brittany thinking she'll leave her in any way at all. "I'm here, Baby. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."

Brittany's tired hands clutch her closer and Santana just kisses her harder. It takes a few minutes but then she feels the soft whisper of eyes opening as Brittany's lips part in a gasp. Santana kisses her hard and closed-mouthed, using her body as a shield as Brittany jolts herself back into wakefulness and even more anguished tears.

"Don't cry," Santana whispers. "Don't cry, it's okay. You don't need to cry. I'm here."

Brittany sobs and her hands clutch at Santana. Santana's never seen her like this, so scared and upset, and she pulls back to look at her as Brittany sobs unabashedly, tears streaming like rivers down her cheeks so fast that Santana can't catch them. Her hands wrap around Brittany's face to keep her steady and she presses the pads of her thumbs and her mouth to Brittany's bottom lip as it pouts out in frustration. It's dark but somehow she can see every atom of sadness of Brittany's face and she hates it.

"What happened?" she asks in a hushed whisper so only Brittany can hear. If it's a secret, she'll gladly carry its burden if it will stop Brittany crying. If she doesn't want anyone to know, Santana won't mention it again if that's what she wants. After all the secrets Brittany's kept for her, it's the least she could do. "Tell me what's wrong, Britt Britt..." Brittany just shakes her head in Santana's hands. "Come on, Baby..." she whispers, desperate. If there's anything, _anything_, making Brittany upset then she wants to know. She wants to destroy it with fire and make it superfluous as quickly as she can. "It's me... you can tell me. I want to know."

Brittany cries some more but the tears seem to be coming less and she seems more in control. After a few moments, she seems capable of words through her sobs and Santana prompts her again, asking her what's wrong. Brittany shakes her head in refusal once more but then Santana's hushing her, kissing over her tear-stained cheeks, and she moans with relief Santana doesn't understand.

"I had a bad dream," Brittany admits quietly around a sob, her voice coiled tight with pain.

She clutches Santana closer and Santana turns into a life raft then, something for Brittany to hold onto while she returns herself to safety. But Santana needs to hold onto her too, so she brings her close and cuddles her for ages until Brittany pulls back, still crying.

"I had a bad dream," she repeats. "You figured out how badly I don't deserve you and you left me. You just left," she breaks and then she's sobbing again.

Santana stares at her in shock, like she might as well have just stabbed her in the chest. "What?" she whispers and wonders if Brittany's still asleep.

But then she looks at her again and sees her struggle, sees how badly these thoughts have affected the smile that had been on her face mere hours before, and knows that this is real. Brittany shakes her head when she tries to cup her cheeks again and it's... she doesn't know what to do because it's the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard in her life.

"You left me," Brittany chokes and she knows it isn't an accusation but she's never felt worse for leaving Brittany alone, even in sleep. "I didn't know what to do. I was so scared. I don't... you can't leave me. I'm in love with you... I promise I'll be better. I'll get better."

She stares as Brittany clings to her, eyes wide and confused. She doesn't know what to say to this, to these words that leave Brittany's mouth, these things she's feeling. She feels guilty and confused and she wants to ask Brittany where this is coming from but her protective instinct is bigger and it overcomes everything else. This need to love and protect Brittany is, at last, overcoming everything else.

"Hey," she says and she wrestles Brittany's hands from her shirt, pries her head from her shoulder and forces her back against the pillows until she can look at her. Brittany's eyes clench tightly together and Santana shakes her head. "Hey," she says again. "Look at me." Brittany does and when her eyes open it's like a punch to the chest. Santana feels that same rush of awe she always gets because Brittany's beautiful, _so _beautiful, even when she's sad and that just doesn't make sense.

"You're perfect," she states because it's the truth. "You're _perfect_ and I love you exactly the way you are. Don't you dare think of being anything different," she shakes her head in disbelief. "Where has all this come from?"

It's the look in Brittany's eye that tells her it's not come from anywhere, it's just been well hidden and never sent away like it should have been. It's dark and haggard, a shadow in Brittany's face that she somehow manages to mask away so that nobody can see. The idea that she's not good enough is buried inside of her and that shocks and scares Santana a little, making familiar old guilt tingle at her limbs. Brittany looks away and Santana slumps a little against her.

"Britt?" she says in confusion. She tries to urge Brittany to look at her but she won't. "What aren't you saying?"

Brittany shakes her head in refusal. "I'm sorry," she whimpers.

Santana mirrors her, more adamant and terrified. "No," she says breathlessly. "No. You tell me why you're being like this. You're scaring me, Britt." She laughs mirthlessly, hoping her words and her light-heartedness will be worth something. "Britt?"

Brittany sniffs away her tears and tries to reel herself in. Santana looks down at her, wipes at her cheeks as she blinks.

"I just..." Brittany starts. "Sometimes... sometimes I think about what I did, about how I said no to you..." Her voice is barely a whisper. "I think about it and I can't stop myself from worrying that, one day, you're going to realize how much I don't deserve you."

Santana's mouth opens to say something but Brittany shakes her head.

"I don't," she says. "I don't deserve you. I did at one point, when you were giving me your heart because I asked you if you could, but I don't anymore, because you _did_ give it to me and I turned you down. I broke your heart and, and... now it's mine and I'm trying to protect it and love you but I can't stop thinking about how there might be someone out there better for you." Her face screws up again. "And I want to be better, I want to try to be better because... because I'm _so_ in love with you. I don't want you to find someone better; I want it to be me."

"No," Santana shakes her head. "Britt Britt..."

"What if all this stuff that happened is my fault?" Brittany ignores her. "If I'd have taken care of your heart from when you offered it to me, things would have been different," she sobs and Santana's never heard her sound so resolute. "If I'd have grabbed you that day and told you just how crazy in love with you I am, how much I've always wanted you, then you would have felt braver. You would have felt stronger, but instead I made you feel like you weren't worth it. I made it worse."

She shakes her head and her eyes go wide like she can't handle it. "What if all the bad stuff is my fault? How could I deserve you after that? How could you want me after you've been so brave?"

Santana shakes her head softly. She looks at the fear in Brittany's eyes and it looks so similar to the fear that she still sees staring back at herself every morning, that she can't believe it. She can't bear it, but not for the normal reasons. Because, it's nice to know that they're exactly the same. It's nice to know that she's been sat opposite Brittany for so many months now thinking that she doesn't deserve her and Brittany's been doing the same thing right back. She suddenly feels grounded, tethered to the floor and Brittany and she's never felt more sure that this is the girl she's meant to be with. This person, whose face she holds reverently in her hands, is the person she's going to spend the rest of her life with.

It's easy, after that, to not feel so scared anymore.

A smile creeps up onto her face. "I'm going to marry you," she whispers softly, only for her smile to widen at Brittany's growing confusion.

She leans forward and kisses Brittany quickly before settling down more comfortably beside her. Her arm worms its way around Brittany's back and she urges Brittany's limbs and body to curl and tangle with her own. It isn't until Brittany's hand is tucked under her cheek, her leg curled around Santana's hip and their noses are squashed together that she speaks again. She pulls the covers up around them and she strokes the leftover tears from Brittany's cheeks before she takes Brittany's left hand, resting on her hip, and tangles the fingers with her own.

"What do you think this means?" she asks, still curious to if Brittany really understands. Brittany opens her mouth but the insecurity in her eyes makes Santana cut through her. "I meant it," she says. "I want to marry you. Do you want to marry me?"

Brittany's eyes brighten then and Santana's glad for the confidence there when Brittany nods.

"Good," Santana says, her voice suddenly wavering. "That's settled. I want to marry you and you want to marry me... so can we stop worrying about whether we deserve each other or not and just love each other?" Santana's bottom lip quivers. "Please? Can you forget everything that's happened and realize that we have each other and just love me? Please?"

Brittany barely pauses before she nods quickly and brings herself closer. Their foreheads press and Brittany's still looking for reassurance in her eyes when she looks at her, searching every corner of her face.

"It's... It's not just a ring?" she whispers and Santana can almost feel her breath catching in her chest where it presses against hers.

Santana nods and reaches to wrap her entire hand around Brittany's ring finger. "It's not important," she says. "The two rings that will come after it? They'll be important. This ring is just a reminder so we don't forget."

Brittany shakes her head and untangles Santana's hand from hers until she can rest it against her cheek. She laughs a little and leans in. "It's important," she nods. "Reminders are important."

Santana smiles, her hand reaching up to cover Brittany's on her face, before she nods and presses their lips together. They kiss slowly until Brittany suddenly pulls away.

"But, for the record," she whispers, eyes bright. "I don't think this is something I'll forget."

/

They lay in the space between their pillows and look at each other, ears flat to the mattress. Santana's nose presses to Brittany's and her hand strokes blond hair from her face.

"You have new sheets," Brittany says suddenly and Santana's mouth quirks into a smile

"You only just noticed?"

"No?"

"Dork."

"I can't help it if there's better things to look at in your room," Brittany whispers. Her hand drifts down Santana's side as if to make her meaning clear and it curves around her back and strokes over her ass. Santana breathes in because she loves it when Brittany brings their hips together and holds her this close. Her hand squeezes soft skin and Santana's eyes flutter shut. "Speaking of which, I was brought here under the pretense of you showing me something."

Santana smirks and she knows what Brittany's referring to. It doesn't stop her from playing along a little, though. "I just wanted to show you my new bedsheets."

Brittany rolls her over onto her back but their heads still stay in the space between their pillows. "Unless you wear bedsheets for underwear, you're lying," Brittany giggles and Santana soon follows her. "And that would suck because I was really looking forward to seeing these new panties."

Santana wraps her arms around Brittany's neck and kisses her once, on the tip of her nose. "Would you feel disappointed?"

"Very," Brittany nods. "And hurt. I'd feel hurt that you got my hopes up only to lie to me about something that you knew would get me excited."

Santana hums around a giggle and kisses her properly because she's so damn cute pretending to be grumpy.

"I'm wearing them," them she whispers when they part and loves the way Brittany's eyes go big. Brittany tries to push away to move down her body, but Santana holds her there and starts kissing her again.

Brittany pouts as Santana kisses behind her ear. "I wanna see," she says petulantly. "Let me see."

Santana lets go, feigning reluctance. She bought the damn ridiculous things so that Brittany could enjoy them, so what would be the point in stopping her from seeing them? There's no way she'd normally wear them, but she knows that Brittany's going to go insane for them. She knew it as soon as she saw them in the store.

Her hands unwrap from around Brittany's neck and one goes to lay beside her on the unused pillow while the other covers her mouth. She bites against her wrist to stop herself from laughing when Brittany slinks down her body to rest at her pelvis. The little gasp of excitement she expels when she ceremoniously pushes up Santana's shirt to reveal them to herself is possibly the cutest thing Santana's ever heard.

"Polar bears!" Brittany squeaks and Santana smirks against her wrist as Brittany looks at the little grey panties covered in white polar bears that hug her hips. Her fingers instantly trace the shapes on the fabric, her mouth wide open with joy. "These are really hot," she says after a moment. Santana's weirdly pleased that she sounds so breathless.

"No they're not," she laughs. "Red lace is hot. Silk is hot. These cotton panties I found at some store at the mall are _not _hot."

"They're really sexy," Brittany says looking up at her, eyes earnest. Santana's demeanor switches at the twinkle in her eyes and she smiles properly at her.

"They're sexy?"

Brittany nods. "I wish I had some."

Santana smiles a little wider at that. "You do?"

Brittany nods again. "I'd never wear pants if I had panties like these."

Santana chuckles before pulling Brittany up level with her again. She kisses her once, twice, before narrowing her eyes. "Then I think you better check the drawer in the night stand."

Brittany's eyes widen and her body rolls easily off of Santana's until she can lean over to the night stand, yank open the drawer and, sure enough, find another gift bag like the one her ring came in sitting there. She doesn't even check the tag this time, she just opens the bag and squeals at what she finds there.

"PENGUINS!" she shouts and Santana's grinning at her, taking the bag that is shoved at her, as Brittany jumps off the bed and pulls down her underwear. Santana's eyes widen a little then because, well, she's only human.

Brittany pulls the panties just like Santana's up her legs, except they're red and they're covered in penguins. She tugs at the elastic to make sure she's snug and turns back to Santana, lifting the tails of her sleep shirt to show her.

"How'd they look?"

Santana stares and, yeah, it's kind of undeniable. "Hot," she admits with a nod.

Brittany smirks proudly. "Told you."

/

She's nodding off when she feels Brittany lift the covers and start crawling underneath them. It's four am and she knows Brittany's going to get her up early, but she just smiles and shakes her head.

She doesn't really want to ask, but she does and she knows she's going to need to.

"What are you doing?" she asks sleepily, ignoring the way Brittany's prowling around beneath the covers like a weirdo.

She lifts the them back. "I'm going on an expedition," she says like it's obvious. "To the South Pole."

Santana snorts and shakes her head. "Why?"

Brittany's serious face turns into a smirk. "To look for polar bears. Obviously."

She resumes her exploration, pulling the sheets back over her head. Santana doesn't have the heart to tell her that there aren't any polar bears at the South Pole.

But, it kind of doesn't matter, because she still finds some anyway.

/

She doesn't know what time it is when she wakes up, just hears the sounds of music in the background. She gets confused because it's no music that she owns.

_Ooh, I need your love babe, guess you know it's true! Hope you need my love, babe, just like I need you. Hold me. Love me. Hold me. Love me. I ain't got nothin' but love, babe... Eight days a week!_

Santana giggles before she's even woke up and snuggles her face deeper into the pillow she knows recently held Brittany's head. It holds her scent and smelling her as she sings along to what she quickly realizes is the Beatles is more than enough for her.

_Love you every day, girl! Always on my mind. One thing I can say girl, love you all the time! Hold me! Love me! Hold me! Love me! I ain't got nothin' but love, babe, Eight days a week! _

The bed dips at her feet and she doesn't move, just waits for Brittany to crawl up behind her and wrap lithe arms around her body. She tucks her chin into Santana's shoulder and sings the rest of the song into her ear. Santana chuckles at the end of the song and opens one eyes to look sideways at her.

"What is it with you and the Beatles, recently?" she mumbles.

Brittany shrugs and presses kisses to her cheek before resting her chin against her again. "I don't know," she shrugs. "It's because they're always singing happy songs about love, I guess. I was sitting in my Grandma's kitchen and she was listening to their records and all the songs reminded me of you." Santana takes in a tight breath. "The words to their songs are like the words I would use if I tried to tell people how much I love you. The way I feel about you is like a Beatles song only better."

Santana swoons a little and turns her head, pouting until Brittany kisses her and uses the opportunity to roll her onto her back. A head is soon resting against her chest, above her heart, and Santana doesn't have to say anything as they listen to the songs that sing from Santana's computer. As she listens to John, Paul, George and Ringo sing songs about love, she has to admit that Brittany's probably right. The way they feel about each other is better than a Beatles song.

Santana leans forward to kiss the top of Brittany's head with contentment.

"You want some breakfast?" she asks suddenly.

Brittany's jumping off of her and out the room before she can ask, "pancakes or waffles".

/

It turns out she wants French toast. She sits at the counter as Santana moves around the kitchen, sipping on the glass of apple juice Santana just poured her, her eyes watching on fondly.

"Is this what life's going to be like?" Brittany asks. Santana turns to her, yawning, questioning aiding to the depth of her sleep furrowed brow. "Are you going to be making me breakfast every day for the rest of my life?"

Santana smiles shyly and shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know, Britt Britt. Do you want me to?"

Brittany shrugs and leans her elbow against the counter, face cradled by her palm. "I don't know," she says. "I guess I'd like to make you breakfast sometimes, too. Maybe I could learn to cook or something..."

Santana giggles. "You already tried that once, remember? Your mom said you weren't allowed in her kitchen anymore and Ms Hagberg politely asked you never to take Home Ec ever again."

Santana hears the stool squeak against the tile and then arms are wrapped around her waist as she flips the French toast in the pan. "Well, maybe I could make you, like, cereal and stuff. You like Cheerios, right?"

Santana giggles. "Only one."

Brittany rests her chin on Santana's shoulder and sighs. She lapses into silence and Santana can hear her thinking, relishing the moment and taking it for all its worth. "I like this," she finally admits. "I like waking up and going to sleep with you."

Santana snuggles into her and smiles. "Yeah?" she asks, making sure not to burn anything when every cell in her body seems to want to revolt against itself in favor of tingling under Brittany's touch. "Me too."

Brittany moves closer and Santana can feel her smile against her skin. It makes something swell inside of her, something that feels like her heart or hope or happiness. She clings to it tightly for a second before she realizes that she doesn't need to anymore; if she does that, all she's going to do is smother it. So she softens and lets herself feel Brittany against her.

"It feels weird, doesn't it?" Brittany says after a few moments. "Not being scared? But like, in a good way. A really good way."

Santana pauses for a moment because she hadn't realized that she wasn't anymore. Her brow furrows and it hits her then, the lightness in her chest. There's a quietness in her brain now and she likes how the only thing that it's thinking about is this moment with Brittany. There's no worry about anyone finding out, about not being good enough for Brittany to do this or about getting judged for the rest of her life.

Well, okay, there's still a little bit of whispering about getting judged for the rest of her life, but it's a lot quieter than it used to be. It's like she can see somebody's mouth moving but she doesn't really care what they're saying, not when everything else is so loud and exciting. It's different from when she used to see Brittany's mouth moving and she ignored it because everything else was so loud and scary. It's better.

"A really, really good way," she nods and Brittany nods in agreement before roughly kissing the side of her head.

/

She cooks up some bacon while Brittany goes rummaging through the pantry for a new bottle of syrup and can't stop the laugh that bubbles into her mouth when she emerges proudly yielding a new box of s'mores flavor pop tarts under her arm. Her eyes are so wide and excited that Santana doesn't argue, just takes them from her at the same time she grabs the toaster.

Brittany sets the table as she finishes up fixing breakfast and sits down as she waits for her to come over. Santana secretly loves the feelings she gets when she sets a plate in front of Brittany and then one in front of herself. She's never been the kind of girl who wants to be the little housewife but it's exciting to be that person for Brittany, especially when she grabs her on her way back to get the pop tarts and tugs her onto her lap. She grabs at Brittany to steady herself and sighs into the kiss when Brittany tugs her into one. It's tame and sweet and, yeah, she's slowly learning that being with Brittany means discovering all the other things she wants with her.

Brittany's like the best burger she's ever tasted and now, as she takes a bite, she's realizing that she wants cheese fries and onion rings alongside it and her chocolate milkshake. There's no voice in her ear telling her she can't have them all at once anymore. She's hungry and she knows that these are the things that will make her full.

But food and breakfast are the last thing on her mind when Brittany pulls back for breath. Her hand cupped over Santana's cheek keeps her close and she giggles a little at the way Brittany looks dazed like she's been hit around the head.

"I love you," she mumbles quietly. Her arms loop around Brittany's neck, because she knows that trying to move is futile when Brittany's holding her like this, and she presses their foreheads together as Brittany's hands stroke over her cheek before roaming down her neck.

Her hand finally lingers at Santana's chest and she looks up sadly.

"I should have gotten you a ring," she nods and Santana looks down to see her covering the locket.

Santana shakes her head. "I love it," she whispers. "I like having a reminder of you close to me. I'd like it even more if I knew what picture is inside it, but I'm scared you'll yell at me if I look."

Brittany's face falls into a shy smile. She holds the locket between her fingers and shakes her head. "It's probably not what you think it's going to be." Santana snorts. "I realize that when I told Kurt not to look yesterday it sounded like there was a picture of my boobs in each side, but... it's not like that. I just didn't want everyone to be there when I explained to you why I picked the pictures I did."

Santana smirks. "So I had to tell you in front of everyone that it wasn't just a ring, but you get to wait until we're all alone to tell me about what pictures you picked." She tilts Brittany chin and kisses her. "That's mean and sneaky, baby."

Brittany smiles in response. "Well, there's..." she trails off. "Well, you'll see... here."

She moves both hands to the locket and opens it with expert precision. Santana briefly wonders how long she had the locket before she gave it to her and how many times she sat there playing with it, looking at the pictures inside.

Their eyes remain locked as Brittany hands her the pendant, placing it delicately between Santana's fingers before wrapping her hands back around her waist. Brittany urges her to look inside with a nudge of her nose and Santana lets her forehead fall to Brittany's as she looks inside.

"Oh," she says, understanding dawning on her instantly. "Yes."

Brittany giggles. "I just really like that picture," she whispers. "I always feel happy when I look at it, but I didn't think you'd appreciate all our friends seeing you..."

Santana laughs. "Yeah."

Santana's eyes flicker to the images in either side of the locket. To say she's surprised is a little bit of an understatement because what she sees is the last thing she expected. She's pretty sure that you're not supposed to have pictures of yourself in a locket around your neck.

Her eyes trace the lines of the photograph and she remembers when it was taken clear as day. It was only taken a couple of months ago, but still. It would be hard not to, not when it was taken after the first time they had sex after getting together. She remembers what Brittany had said to her as she lay with her hands tucked under her face in Brittany's bed, body pressed against white sheets and her hair cascading over her naked shoulders and back. Make-up smudged from sweating, eyes smoky with the half light, Brittany had almost rolled off the other side of the bed trying to take the picture of her. She'd explained that she wanted to remember this moment forever and if she wanted to do that properly then she had to have the whole picture just in case she started to forget and needed to remember. That's why Brittany checked every angle to get the best picture of her.

And Brittany was right because it's like being thrown back into that moment as she looks at it; from the way her naked breasts press against the mattress to the way the white sheet only barely covers her thighs and the curve of her ass. Her smile looks back at her and she can remember how quietly happy she was, how relieved, and she can't think of another picture she'd rather have inside this locket than this picture of her that reminds her of how much in love with Brittany she is.

"You look like you," Brittany had whispered when she was laying back beside her, looking at the picture on the screen of the camera her parents had brought her for her birthday. If "her" was this person who looked so hopeless, Santana didn't really mind having this picture as a reminder of Brittany.

"I just..." Brittany says to her quietly. "This locket is a symbol of my heart like your ring is a symbol of your promise and... I guess I wanted to remind you of the girl I'm in love with. This one," she taps the picture. "This girl here, who makes my heart flip over and who's lived inside it since before I knew it was beating."

Santana leans forward to kiss her. "And who's this hot piece of ass on the other side," Santana asks tapping the picture of Brittany, obviously naked with her body curled in on itself. Her chin rests on her knee and she leans against the side of her bed. She's not really smiling, but still, Santana doesn't think she's ever seen her look happier. "When was this picture taken and why wasn't I there?"

Brittany giggles. "You were," she says. "You're asleep behind me in the bed. I took it the same day I took the picture of you. That's when I got the idea to make you the locket. I wanted us to match so I waited until you were asleep and snapped one of myself."

Santana's eyes widen. "You've been planning this since then?" she asks in wonderment. "You've been planning to give me this all those weeks?"

Brittany leans back a little and smirks. "Yeah, why, is that weird?"

Santana shakes her head as she closes the locket and leans forward. "No," she says as her lips attach themselves to Brittany's. "No, it isn't."

Breakfast gets cold, but they don't really care.

/

"I think I'm hyper," Brittany shrieks.

The music is loud and the creaking of the mattress beneath Brittany's feet is even louder, but Santana can still hear her sing-song voice as it yells out. She barely pays attention to it, though, too busy watching to make sure Brittany doesn't miss and jump on her like a maniac instead of the mattress. She's also giggling like an idiot because she's in love with a damn doofus.

"You ate pancakes with half a bottle of syrup and, like, six pop tarts!" She laughs up at her as her body jostles in the space between Brittany's legs. An iTunes shuffle plays in the background and her hands find her stomach as it starts to hurt from laughing. "If you're not hyper then I'm not seconds away from puking! Britt Britt! Sit your ass down! You're gonna break the damn bed!"

Brittany still bounces a few more times before she falls dramatically to straddle Santana. Her hair, wavy from sleeping with it damp the night before, falls messily into her eyes. Santana shakes her head at her as she brushes it back over her forehead, eyes fond as she tries her best to look mad. She fails, quickly and abysmally.

"Your mom is gonna kill you if you go home later and you're hyper," she tells her softly before leaning up to kiss her on the nose. "You're so cute, though, I don't know how to stop you."

Brittany chuckles effortlessly before clearing the space between them and kissing her, hands tangling with her hair. "We'll have to wear me out," she says suggestively.

Santana smirks and hums out a laugh. "If you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting, that'll wear me out too and I don't need wearing out."

Brittany bites on her bottom lip and it sends a jolt down her spine. "Just because you don't need it doesn't mean you don't want it," she says, soothing the bite with a suck. She pulls back. "But, that thing you're thinking about isn't the thing that I was suggesting."

"Oh?"

"Nope," she says, crawling off of her. "Come on. Get up, lazy face."

They're dancing around in their underwear mere minutes later. Santana quickly debates closing the drapes in case anyone can look in, but then she decides she doesn't really care. They both look ridiculously awesome and Brittany's making moves with as little effort as she usually does.

Michael Jackson's "Beat It" comes on shuffle when she's just about to drop dead from exhaustion. Brittany's still shaking her ass behind her and Santana's just swaying to the music when she comes up behind her and grabs her around the waist. Her shirt rides up and the place where Brittany's arm presses against her skin tingles with energy as she touches her. Brittany's body curves against her back and she brings her closer. She whispers the words in Santana's ear as she leads their bodies in the dance around the space beside her bed. Santana smiles and loves how silly and sexy it feels at the same time.

They've done this before, danced around her room. It used to mostly be at sleepovers with Quinn but it's been a while since they did it solo. They never used to dance like this either and she knows she likes it better, dancing together, in the bright light of the day in front of her bedroom window where anyone can look up and see. She feels like she's giving Brittany something she's always wanted, something that she's always wanted too. She's done it a lot recently; danced with Brittany. But there's something better about dancing alone, just for them.

Especially when it's so charged and the touch of Brittany's skin instantly sets her on fire. Her mouth parts in excitement and Brittany's body moves against her back in a way she wishes was moving against her front. She spins in her arms, just because and wraps her arms around Brittany's neck. Her smirk says enough and sooner rather than later (which is _really _the way Santana prefers it) Brittany's hands are holding her close at inappropriate places. She grips her closer by her ass only to spin her again. She dips and curves Santana's body until her hair is falling messily into her face and her shirt is lifting up enough to show more skin than she should.

Brittany's hands worm their way beneath fabric, one up her shirt and one dipped into the waistband of her panties. She smirks smugly against Santana's ear before biting it, and... that's really enough. Santana steps away from her and turns to look at her pointedly.

Brittany just shakes her head and follows again, catching her around the waist and nuzzling into her neck.

Santana shrieks when Brittany lifts her and urges her legs to wrap around her waist. It's for good reason when they topple back onto the mattress.

Still, Brittany lands atop her, between her thighs and that's fine by her. Brittany's way of wearing each other out is good and all, but she's pretty sure hers is better.

/

It's dark by the time they reemerge, red-faced and bodies slick. Santana gasps for air as they stare at each other, the music still playing in the background, soft and superfluous.

Her hands stroke Brittany's hair from her face and she's about to release some witty comment, asking Brittany if she's tired yet when they hear a sound from outside so loud she chooses to jump right out of her skin and cling to Brittany instead.

"What the hell was that?" she whispers, shocked, and Brittany just shakes her head and untangles their bodies, walks with shaky legs as she wanders to the window, picking up her discarded sleep shirt on the way.

"Wow," she says a few moments later. "Look at that snow."

/

_I think we're going to be stuck longer than we thought, _her mom texts her mere minutes later. _Stay safe and don't go anywhere._

She scoffs before responding.

_It's thundering and snowing at the same time_, she says trying to muster as much snark as she can via text. _I didn't have a death wish the last time I checked. What the hell is going on?_

_I don't know,_ her mom replies. _We lost power last night and are stuck at the airport until it reopens the runways. Just stay inside and don't go anywhere._

_/_

The music cuts out about half an hour after that, along with the lamp in the corner of the room, making the pair of them jump from their spot in the middle of her bed. When she checks her phone again, she notices for the first time that it's still probably too early to be dark and it's the weather that's making it so black out. She holds Brittany tighter and the pair of them clutch their cellphones in their hands like secondary lifelines.

Brittany's phone goes off less than two minutes after the power outs. Santana reads it over her shoulder.

_Don't move. Stay with Santana until the roads are clear. Daddy just called the school board and you don't have school tomorrow, so don't worry. Safe safe. Love you x _

She texts back quickly with a quick _k love you 2 x _before she snuggles closer to Santana and wraps their bodies together.

"I told you," she says after a few moments. "It's going to be like _The Day After Tomorrow_."

Despite her fear, Santana cracks up laughing.

/

The storm rages on and she'd like to think that, with every crack of abnormal thunder that breaks through the patting of the snow on the windows, she feels less like she's going to die but she doesn't. Brittany lays beside her and they both stare up at her ceiling like it might just collapse in on them at any moment, or like, the front of a ship will come crashing through her bedroom window and they'll die or drown like that old couple in _Titanic_ who don't go find a lifeboat.

Her fingers clench tightly at Brittany's and she knows she'll be fine once the power comes back on and she can use bright light and loud music to drown out the sounds outside, but she knows that won't happen soon.

That's until Brittany's giggle breaks through the silence and she forgets everything else. Her entire world hones in onto Brittany shuffling onto her side beside her.

"Do you want babies?" Brittany asks suddenly and, like, maybe the world is ending. She doesn't know. All she knows is that this is the weirdest day of her life.

She frowns in confusion and darts her eyes quickly to Brittany before nervously resuming her task staring the ceiling out of collapsing on top of her. "What?"

"Do you want babies?" Brittany repeats. "I was just wondering."

Her eyes flicker for a moment and she tries not to think about mini-Brittany's running around and causing havoc but it's about as easy as pretending she's not in love with her.

"I don't know," she lies because it isn't like she's been thinking about baby names since before she could stop herself. "Why do you ask?"

Brittany shrugs and moves closer. "I don't know," she says. "All of this has just reminded me of this snow storm when I was a little kid and we were staying at my grandparents' cabin in Michigan." Santana finally turns her head to listen to Brittany because her stories are always the best ones. "It was huge and like, the heating failed and the power cut out and it was like... minus a million degrees, so my grandpa made him and my grandma, my uncle Larry and his family and my mom, my dad, my sisters and me, all go back to our bedrooms and just snuggle up under the covers to keep warm using each other."

Santana smiles and Brittany shrugs.

"I was just thinking about it and wondered if you wanted babies, is all..."

The implications hit her like a snowball to the chest and she struggles to breathe for a moment. Brittany watches and her smile is timid.

"You..." Santana starts but Brittany cuts through her nervously.

"I'm not..." she starts. "I'm not saying we should or that I want to or..." she sighs out, giving up. "I just wanted to know if you want babies because..." she shakes her head. "I just want to know if you want babies."

Santana breathes out. She doesn't want to say something and make herself look like a gigantic ass. She looks back at the ceiling and frowns.

"I... do you?" she asks. "Do you want babies?"

Brittany leans up on her elbow and looks down at her. Her hand instantly goes up to toy with the locket around Santana's neck and a smile washes over her face like it's the only real way for her face to be.

She shrugs. "I mean, it sucks we can't have babies together." Her fingers draw a second outline of a heart around the shape of the locket. "That's why I wanted the stork to be real. If the stork was real it would be able to bring us a baby that was made from both of us..."

Santana softens and swoons and swoops at her words. Her smile is just as timid as Brittany's but it grows with the hope Brittany's words fill her with.

"But I can carry your babies," Santana tells her softly. "... if – if you wanted me to."

She gulps and internally calls herself an idiot.

Brittany looks even more timid and nervous when she looks back up to Santana's face from the locket. Her eyes are dark and she gulps visibly. "You'd – you'd want to do that?"

Santana can't think of anything more awesome than to be trusted enough to carry around something that precious for Brittany for so long, so she tells her that, quick and hurried and wants to look away when Brittany's eyes fill with tears. She's sure they're mirrored back in her own.

"Can – can I carry your babies, too?" Brittany asks timidly. "And – and when we get married, can we raise our babies together?"

_Our babies _echoes happily in Santana's ears.

"Like..." Santana's not sure she's ever heard Brittany so nervous and excited. She can feel her buzzing. "Can we... can we... will they be both our babies? Can we, like, name them together and stuff?"

Santana looks at her and reaches to cup her face purely because, for the millionth time, she can't believe that Brittany's real. She smiles at her and nods her head happily.

"I can't think of anything better," she says.

Brittany lets out this little happy sound of relief and moves closer. Santana wonders if they're ever going to stop being as hopeless as they are when it comes to each other.

"What will we name them?" Brittany says softly.

Santana giggles and pulls her in for a kiss. "Whatever you want," she shakes her head breathlessly. "Whatever you want, I don't care."

_I don't care_, she thinks. _As long as I definitely get to have them with you._

/

They spend all night and all the next day talking.

Babies, houses, the rings they'll get to buy for each other – they're all talked about and even as Brittany's kissing all over her face and swearing on Lord Tubbington's life that Santana will get to wear a ring one day too, Santana's not sure if it's real or not.

She's not entirely sure she ever will.

How close it is doesn't sink in until she's dropping Brittany back home a couple of days later when all the snowploughs have made it possible to drive again. She stands at Brittany's front door kissing her goodbye and telling her she'll see her in the morning, when Brittany pulls back and gives her one of those slow, easy, sure smiles.

"Just think," she says. "In a few months, we don't just get to start a new year together... we get to start our whole lives together."

Overwhelmed, Santana can't find the words to express how she's feeling, so, instead, she just pulls Brittany into a kiss and doesn't let her go until she can't not for needing to breathe.

"I love you," she says shaking her head. "I don't think you get how much I love you."

Brittany smiles. "I do," she nods and she lifts her left hand between them. "I've got the ring to prove it."

They lapse into giggles and Santana suddenly feels excited for the day she never has to leave Brittany's side.

/

A couple weeks later when they're back at school and the snow has cleared, Mr Schue asks them to find a way for him to propose to Ms Pillsbury.

She starts to wonder if she went about this whole thing the wrong way, if she should have waited longer until there was diamonds and she was less afraid of everyone who didn't matter looking. She watches Mr Schue literally walk on water for Ms. Pillsbury and she wonders if she should have made that happen to.

She thinks of Brittany's ring (safe in her jewelry box at home after the third time she almost lost it) and doesn't want to think she's done this whole thing wrong, but doubt's just something that lives constantly inside her.

But then Brittany's stepping up behind her as they get out of the pool and wrapping an arm around her waist.

"You did it better," she whispers and all the doubt washes away as quick as anything as Brittany takes hold of her hand.

_Every day_, she thinks as Brittany squeezes her hand before running off to chase the others. _Every day, I get closer to spending my entire life with you. _

She sighs.

Things have never felt better.


End file.
